Around the www

I received a comment from an angry reader that started with “Are you kidding me?”  Yes, ma’am.  I am usually kidding.  You need to buy panties with stronger elastic.

I am not in the mood for anonymous insults. When you work in TV news you have to put up with a lot of BS.

Comment: “I don’t like your haircut.”

Response: Thank you for your feedback.

Comment:“You’re a dumb pig.”

Response: “Thank you for your feedback.”

Comment: “Your newscast is so painful it makes my eyes bleed.”

Response: Thank you for your feedback.

I can assure you the reporter, anchor, producer, etc. is thinking something completely different. If the walls in a newsroom could talk…. Now, I don’t have to be nice to rude people. I can be honest.

I was up all night with a sick child.  My 6-year-old has the virus from hell.  He doesn’t have a single symptom all day long,  but coughs the minute his head hits the pillow.   My husband managed to sleep through his hacking episodes.  I cannot.  I got up a million times to adjust his pillows, pat his back, curse, etc.  Each time I leaned over the bed he, in a sound sleep, started swinging like Mike Tyson on his honeymoon. I’m lucky I didn’t wind up with a black eye.

Anyway, I’m too tired to write something witty. So, here are a few of my favorite things on the world wide web.

 

Ohio State Marching Band Michael Jackson Tribute

 

 

What if your favorite brands used honest tag lines?  The answer is hysterical.  Here are a few examples.

 

For the complete list go to :  Twentytwowords.com

 

 

 

I ‘less than 3′ Conan O’Brien :

 

 

My daughter has some dance moves,  but this girl is amazing:

 

Unicorn + Peacock = ?

I love Christopher Columbus.  Regardless of whether or not he actually discovered America, my kids get the day off from school.  So, we won’t be late today!  It doesn’t matter what time I get up something always comes up that delays our departure.  Just recently, we were late to school because my daughter wanted to draw a unicorn.  Let me repeat: she refused to leave until she drew a unicorn.  She is obsessed with an imaginary animal.   Dear God, please don’t let her grow up to play Dungeons & Dragons.
She will draw unicorn-dogs, unicorn-birds, unicorn-cows, etc.  They all  look alike.  Her creations are nothing like this picture posted on Reddit.   A 4th grader was asked to come up with a new animal by combining two that already exist.  The end result is fantastic.

 

 

Take this job and shove it!

Clearly this woman worked in a newsroom. (cause it looks like a newsroom) I had a similar boss at one point.  News Directors come and go like men through Taylor Swift’s dressing room.  In fact, that guy who eliminated my position via text message and email after a decade of dedicated service? (paging Mrs. Bitterman) Yeah, he just got kicked to the curb.  Karma is a wonderful thing.  Anyway, this other guy would start each morning meeting reading from a tally sheet.  “People love the homicide video. That got the most hits.”  I am so happy their loss is your gain a**hole.  There are journalists who actually care about people and telling a good story.   Anyway, resignation letters are so 1995.  This interpretive dance for her boss is solid gold.

Legendary dancing

A friend described my dancing at a recent party as “legendary.” Now, I’m not sure if that is a good thing. Perhaps, he thought I looked like a circus freak having a seizure. I don’t really care. If there is music playing I am moving. How on earth can you stay seated when “Jump Around” is blasting through the speakers? (Note to self: jumping around after having three kids isn’t always such a good idea) I have rhythm, but never took dance classes. I’m tall and awkward. I don’t care. I’m not dancing to win America’s votes. I like to joke around. I may even drop to the ground and do air guitar from time to time, but what civilized woman doesn’t after a few margaritas? (Maybe that is why I haven’t been invited to join the local Rotary club?) Anyway, here is a little girl after my own heart. I think this tiny mama may have snuck a few Red Bulls before hitting the floor. Holy high energy Batman!