Real problem

Just when you are starting to feel good about yourself a child will crush your self esteem. My 3-year-old daughter recently asked me, “Can I tell you something?” Usually what follows is I have to pee. or I want juice. So, I let my guard down. “Sure sweetie, what is it?” She smacked her lips together and after a dramatic pause said, “Well, your breath stinks and it’s a real problem.” Really? “That’s the truth,” she said, threw up her hands and walked away. It’s not like I suffer from halitosis. I enjoyed a cup of coffee. Now I have to pop mints to impress a toddler?

My daughter also mocks my bathing suit. “You can’t wear that in the water. That is a skirt.” No, it is my bathing suit. “A skirt,” she insists. Bathing suit. “Nope, a skirt.” We go back and forth until I realize I am arguing with a 3-year-old. I can’t win this battle. Quite frankly, it is her fault I have to wear a skirt. I rocked a bikini before I gave birth. Today I, once again, donned a skirt at the beach. My thighs still touch, but I no longer get a brush burn. (I would say this exercise thing is paying off.) I don’t think people were looking at me anyway. The real show was on a blanket nearby where a woman was shaving her boyfriend’s back. I am not kidding. Who just happens to have a razor in their beach bag? I have snacks, towels, sand toys and a Gillette Fusion Pro Glide. She obviously planned to do some manscaping AT THE BEACH. Think about that the next time you let the sand run through your toes. Now, that is a real problem.

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