Newscasters remind us with such enthusiasm to turn the clocks ahead. I won’t gain or lose an hour of sleep because of what the clock reads. I don’t get enough rest because I have children. In fact my daughter woke up at 3 a.m. today ready to take on the world. I tried to be stern, but when I told her to go back to bed she screamed like Howard Dean. I did not want her to wake up the other kids. So, I turned on an episode of Blue’s Clues. Steve should have ridden that gravy train a little longer. It’s tough to make the leap to serious actor…

I tried this to get up that popsicle juice my daughter sprinkled all over my carpet. It worked like a charm. Hurray for small miracles!     Directions: Fill a spray bottle with 1 part ammonia and 1 part water. Spray on stain. Lay towel over stain. Iron over towel with hot iron. Stain comes up on towel. (Don’t use on pet stains)

I just read a story about a child who was left at Chuckie Cheese. The parents didn’t realize she was missing until the next morning. Granted, this child is one of 11. However, they left THE BIRTHDAY GIRL behind. Nobody thought to ask the 5-year-old if she had a good time? I hover over my kids like a hawk at those places. You can’t count on the 16-year-old boy guarding the door to fend away kidnappers. I’m not saying I’m perfect. A few months ago I forgot my son had a field trip. He was the only child without a parent accompanying him to a local farm. It was a…

I know this isn’t new, but if you ask me you can never have enough Ryan Gosling. Obviously this gorgeous man wins hands down. Click here: (You won’t be disappointed) IS RYAN GOSLING CUTER THAN A PUPPY A few samples:  

My Twitter account has been suspended. I feel like I’m in high school. Actually this is more severe than any punishment I ever received. I was sent to the principals office a few times for being a smart ass. Otherwise I was your average kid. I was bitter, read Tiger Beat Magazine and thought Cyndi Lauper could sing. I bet one of my tweets offended The Stepford Wives. Now, I have to prove that I’m not a robot or crazy. One may be easier to dismiss than the other. Meanwhile, the person sending me messages about sex toys is an active user. Hopefully, my account will be restored in the…

My day started with my darling preschooler telling his teacher we were late because “mom had to poop.” He wasn’t lying, but damn the honesty. I refused to let it ruin my day. After all, for the first time in a LONG time I was able to button my pants without holding my breath or doing squats to stretch out the material. I was feeling fine and even had a strut in my step. It was more of a Claudia Schiffer walk than an Eminem strut. I even dared to wear a shirt without a cardigan to hide the back fat. It’s been much more difficult this time around to…

Watch this video on YouTube   I love this kid. The guy with the creepy smile behind him… not so much.

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I woke up today with the birds singing and the sun shining. My son ran into my room and gave me a huge bear hug. My 2-year-old daughter told me I was her best friend. Of course, I will remind her of this when she is 16, wants her belly button pierced and hates my guts when I refuse to sign the parental consent form. I tried to cherish the moment knowing tomorrow my son will have a temper tantrum to stay home and my daughter will smack me across the face at some point in the day. After I sent the older kids to school I decided to check…