• Can you afford it?

    Do you know what’s worse than waiting in a long line at Walmart? Loading a cart full of groceries on the belt before realizing your wallet is missing. Yeah, this happened to me tonight. Panic immediately set in. I scanned the store for Oliver Twist, but only saw a woman in pajamas and a man with star tattoos on his face. Did I drop it? I put my groceries back into the cart as my daughter questioned loudly, “What’s wrong Mommy? You don’t have enough money?” I use this excuse from time to time when she asks for a toy. Awesome. I may not be able to afford Diet Dr.…

  • Random stuff

    Here are a few random things I wanted to share with y’all. Used Car Ad This used car ad made me laugh. There isn’t an obnoxious salesman screaming into a camera. This was posted on Ebay. The vehicle description is fantastic. “Since owning the vehicle, it has been thrashed, raced, rallied, and the interior has been smashed up in a domestic, not to mention the time my wife booted the wing because I suggested she eat a salad or two. ( please refer to photo of foot next to dent for reference).” “If you are looking for an immaculate, well maintained example of a Mercedes e320 CDI… you have come…

  • Musical Theater Gone Wrong

    My children are very dramatic. They love music and movies. My oldest is destined to be a Hollywood director. My youngest is constantly acting. No, I am not a stage Mom. However, I guess it pays to be one. I just read Honey Boo Boo is a hit in Europe. I am not a fan, but I would watch it dubbed in Spanish. What is the translation for “Sketti?” My husband recorded my daughter’s recent performance. Stick with it because this skit goes from sweet to WTF? Watch this video on YouTube A knife? Was this fairy tale written by Quentin Tarantino? Read more: CynicalMother.com

  • Back to School

    Across the country there are mothers drowning their sorrows in chocolate after dropping a child off at college. You may see them at the gym, eyes red and swollen, trying to work it off and avoid going home to an empty house. So, in comparison, my “problem” may seem trivial. I’m having major anxiety about sending my second born to kindergarten. It’s to the point that I’ve looked into home schooling. There are two reasons I could never follow that path. First, I don’t have the patience. Second, I still count on my fingers and couldn’t name all 50 states on a map. (Those middle ones are tricky) How could…

  • I have arrived

    I am in the latest issue of a new online magazine for mom’s. I encourage you to check it out. There are some pretty incredible women featured on this site. Hell yes I’m referring to me too! BonbonBreak.com

  • Minivan Mix

    I need to make a new “mixed tape” for my car. If I hear “Call Me Maybe” or “Moves Like Jagger” one more time I’m going to flip out. I enjoyed both songs until the 50,000th time I heard them. My kids are a little obsessive compulsive. If they like a something we have to hear it over and over again. Terrestrial radio is always a gamble. Recently, I had to explain why Flo Rida wants someone to “blow my whistle.” Clearly, he’s playing soccer and wants the referee to call a penalty. Duh! When my children were toddlers I could rock out to whatever I wanted. They didn’t have…