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Urine Controlled Video Games?
You have got to be kidding me? I will never get my boys out of the bathroom if this becomes a trend. A minor league baseball team in Pennsylvania is going to offer urine-controlled video games. No, I am not making this up. The system is designed by a British company called Captive Media. The custom urinals feature a “pee controlled” video screen. (R Kelly must be so happy!) SMH! (I just learned what SMH means. I had to google it after I received a text message.) For example, in a snowboarding game, to turn left you urinate to the left, to turn right you pee right. My children have a…
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Tooth Fairy
My son has a loose tooth. He is excited, but a little terrified at the same time. Can you blame him? The kid has grown accustomed to using all of his teeth to chew food. Now, five years later I inform him they are going to fall out. “What day will they fall out?” he wondered. As a parent I would like to have an answer for everything. If I don’t have an answer to a homework question I secretly Google it. If it can’t be answered on the internet I call my Mom. “I don’t know,” I said. “It will come out when it’s ready.” He knows what…
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Are you ready for some football?
It is the time of the year when men focus on something other than sex. Football. Unless you live under a rock you know today is the season opener for most teams in the NFL. I am not your stereotypical woman. Oh, don’t get me wrong I complain every Sunday. I am different in the sense that I actually enjoy watching football. However, the earth I live on doesn’t stop spinning at kickoff. I still have to take care of our three children. One may need food in the 1st quarter, a butt wiped in the 2nd and another will demand I attend a tea party in the 3rd and…
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Beach Porn
I was so busy with the BlogHer conference, playing with dolls and cleaning toilets (not necessarily in that order) I forgot to show you the greatest picture ever. I took my kiddos to the beach recently which, if you are a parent, you know is an accomplishment in itself. You have to pack food, towels, extra clothing, toys and beverages. Then, you have to cart it all back through the hot sand while carrying a whiny toddler. We actually had a great time with my brother, sister-in-law and nephews. The water at the lake was the perfect temperature and clean. (We have an algae problem from time to time, but…
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Dear anonymous,
What a pleasant way to start my day. I got an email from “anonymous” criticizing my choice to leave the news business and write “trash.” First of all, I always value opinions from someone who doesn’t even have the balls to put his/her name on a message. I am still a journalist. I will, in fact, freelance write serious articles about parenting. However, on this site I will be me: a loving, sarcastic and (if I do say so myself) witty mom. I like to laugh about ridiculous situations in life. The wonderful thing about the world wide web is you have so many choices. So, being you are clearly…
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Getting rid of that jiggle
My arms tend to keep waving when I have stopped. I looked on Youtube to find some good exercises to tone these muscles. Most of the trainers are really enthusiastic. Translation: annoying. I found this video useful as long as you keep the sound muted. Watch this video on YouTube
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Minivan Mix
I need to make a new “mixed tape” for my car. If I hear “Call Me Maybe” or “Moves Like Jagger” one more time I’m going to flip out. I enjoyed both songs until the 50,000th time I heard them. My kids are a little obsessive compulsive. If they like a something we have to hear it over and over again. Terrestrial radio is always a gamble. Recently, I had to explain why Flo Rida wants someone to “blow my whistle.” Clearly, he’s playing soccer and wants the referee to call a penalty. Duh! When my children were toddlers I could rock out to whatever I wanted. They didn’t have…