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Random stuff
Here are a few random things I wanted to share with y’all. Used Car Ad This used car ad made me laugh. There isn’t an obnoxious salesman screaming into a camera. This was posted on Ebay. The vehicle description is fantastic. “Since owning the vehicle, it has been thrashed, raced, rallied, and the interior has been smashed up in a domestic, not to mention the time my wife booted the wing because I suggested she eat a salad or two. ( please refer to photo of foot next to dent for reference).” “If you are looking for an immaculate, well maintained example of a Mercedes e320 CDI… you have come…
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Coupon insert = entertainment
It is no secret that I love coupons. I am a rookie extreme couponer. I don’t have 90 cans of peas in my pantry, but I could supply deodorant for an entire NFL team. I just bought three 12 packs of Bounty paper towels and a bottle of Tylenol for $6.30. Bam! Do you know what I love even more than scoring a high value coupon? The advertisements that are included in the Sunday inserts. They bring me so much joy. Please allow me to explain why. The model is saying “Ta-dah! For $19.99 you can look like you are 50 years older, too.” Put these on and you won’t…
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Relief
My 6-year-old son is braver than me. (Or is it braver than I? My English teachers are cringing.) This kid had a piece of his head cut off today and didn’t flinch. He underwent surgery to remove a mole with moderately atypical cells. I nearly lost my mind when I heard a pathologist mention the “c” word. No, he didn’t call me a C U Next Tuesday. Although it wouldn’t have been the first time. I noticed the mole after my son got a horrible haircut. Our usual hairdresser was off, but my children were starting to look like Chewbacca’s relatives. So, I scheduled an appointment anyway. This chick gave…
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Cuddler
This is too good not to share. Someone posted a recliner for sale on a Facebook virtual garage sale site. As you can see in the description it’s a “Cuddler recliner.” I am guessing by the stains there was a lot more than cuddling going on here. Gross. The price should be $whythehellwouldyoubuythis.
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Stroll for Strong
I finished a charity walk today looking like I ran a 5k. It turns out pulling a 6-year-old and 3-year-old in a wagon, up hills and across rough terrain is not easy. I was dripping with sweat. Today’s event raised money for Golisano Children’s Hospital in Rochester, NY. This hospital and its staff are a vital part of our community. They do amazing work for a lot of families. I walked in support of my dear friend, Jennifer. Last year, her daughter Grace, born with CDH, was one of the hospital’s “Miracle Kids.” Grace passed away in February at just 17-months-old. I got teary eyed when I saw a poster…
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Run, Forest, Run
A lady who bears a striking resemblance to an Old Maid card kicked my ass on the high school track. I went for a run yesterday to train for a 5k. The race is today. I am used to running on a treadmill. So, I figured I should introduce my sneakers to pavement. I usually try to avoid exercising in public because I sweat profusely. It was 8:30 a.m. and the track would be empty, right? Wrong! After one lap grandma jumped in lane two. Ha! I thought to myself. Eat my dust grandma! A little healthy competition is a good thing. I threw on will.i.am’s “T.H.E The Hardest Ever.”…
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Moment of Zen
I sat outside a coffee shop this morning for 30 minutes waiting for a friend. It was just what the doctor ordered. The sun was shining and birds chirping. The coffee shop is nestled in a small plaza behind an ornate iron gate. There is a long brick walkway leading to the entrance with trees scattered throughout. I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed a quiet moment alone. It was heaven until…. two crackheads appeared. The woman was wearing cut off jean shorts and a paper thin white tank top. The man looked like he hadn’t bathed in months. I don’t know the extent of their conversation, but she…
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Minivan salute
Motorcyclists have a special connection with one another. I have never been on a hog because I am what some may call a chicken. I didn’t learn to ride a bike until I was 9-years-old. I figure if God wanted us on two wheels we would have been born with them. A car is another story. You don’t expect me to walk everywhere? As a kid I would get on my Huffy bike, fall off and say to myself, “F-this!” Then, I would throw that sucker on the ground and go watch Saturday morning cartoons. Motorcyclists take better care of their bikes. They also have clubs, matching jackets and a…
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Hair Bow Obsession
I am obsessed with hair accessories for my daughter. She doesn’t leave home without a bow that compliments her outfit. Why? I think they are pretty. I also like it when people compliment her. It must suck to have ugly kids. Actually, if your kids are ugly you should accessorize even more. Relax, I am kidding. (sort of) My daughter can be feminine and kick ass on a soccer field. Someday, she may refuse to wear them, but until then here is a sample of our collection: I could not resist buying more bows today when I saw a sale on…
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Road Rage
I am guilty of road rage. Well, it’s actually watered down road rage. I am not a complete lunatic. I haven’t crashed my car into another vehicle or assaulted anyone. I bite my tongue most of the time when my children are in the car. However, when you are going through perimenopause some things are out of your control. Most recently, I yelled at a driver who didn’t turn right when the light was red. “It’s right on RED,” I shouted through my windshield. He didn’t hear me because we were separated by glass and metal. My kids were watching Tangled Ever After for the millionth time at an…