It’s a new day which means another celebrity is going to post a picture of themselves on Twitter. I’ve never had the urge to go in the bathroom to snap a selfie. You’re welcome. My favorite pics are when people are obviously posing, but pretend to be caught off guard. Oh, I didn’t see you standing there with a camera. I was just risking my life, hanging on to this plant near a cliff in Mexico while standing in my underwear.
(I call that Tuesday)
Actress Lea Michele posted this pic on New Year’s Day. There is no denying she is talented and gorgeous. The girl also has a massive wedgie. I choose comfort over sex appeal. I would rather have my underwear sit above my belt loops. Besides, a wedgie + cottage cheese = train wreck. I am sure many people who look at this photograph see her tight a** and the stunning backdrop. I see danger. Honey, you are too close to the edge. You are going to fall! (Besides, is that a foot in the bottom right hand corner with one too many toes?) I suppose since becoming a mother everything makes me nervous. Yesterday my 4-year-old daughter was demonstrating how she can balance on the bottom rung of a chair. She was so proud of herself. “Mommy, look, look, look.” I saw a vision of the chair flipping over, her face smashing against the wood and tears, lots of tears, “You are going to get hurt!” Her smile faded away. Sure, she could fall, but she didn’t. Why didn’t I praise her first? I reacted in a similar way when my older son told me a funny story about school. “Well, I hope you were behaving,” I said. His words made my heart skip a beat, “I can’t tell you anything.” I would rather be sentenced to prison and have a Kardashian as a bunk mate than know my kids can’t talk to me. I suppose I need to lighten up and listen. Is it possible to be a parent and really listen without passing judgement. I have to try. My job is to teach them the difference between right and wrong, but can they learn anything if I control everything?