• 1,2,3,4…. I declare a Twitter war

    Since Bravo decided to play “The Fast & the Furious 99” tonight I had no choice, but to search for another form of entertainment. Thankfully, Kanye West is still crazy and his Twitter feed fulfilled my craving for drama. He is apparently in a fight with Jimmy Kimmel.  Kanye is mad that the late night talk show host spoofed an hour-long interview he gave to the BBC. Who in their right mind would let Kanye West talk for an hour?  Do the Brits have MTV?  Well, Kanye’s designer panties are in a bunch. So, how do reasonable human beings resolve conflict?  Kanye did the opposite and turned to social media,…

  • Hello, Newman

    It’s quite appropriate that I would find this when cleaning out my son’s backpack this morning. If you haven’t been following along the crossing guard at my son’s school hates me. Doesn’t the Starbucks barista hate her too? Yes, there are one or two or twenty people who dislike me. Whatever. It’s not my fault. The crossing guard is becoming my “Newman.”   We greet one another with a smile and suspicious glare. Our encounters have stretched beyond her crosswalk territory. On Friday I decided to take the kids for ice cream after school to celebrate their first week. I also wanted a coffee, but that wasn’t why we went.…

  • Knock, knock

    You’ve got to love those crazy Russians. When they aren’t passing ridiculous laws against the LBGT community or giving (allegedly) chemical weapons to Syria, they make funny commercials. This spot for a flat screen TV is wild. How angry would you be if you were the butt of this joke?

  • Tooth fairy returns

    I want to go to sleep, but I can’t. It’s my own fault. I am the moron who thought it would be a good idea to tell a tall tale. I was the one who convinced my child that a fairy will collect his teeth. It didn’t take much. Actually, I question a child’s intelligence every time I tell this lie. A fairy? Really? Really? A woman flies in your room and gives you money for your tooth? You won’t believe me when I say we are out of cookies, but this broad is legit? You aren’t questioning her sanity or mine for letting her in our house? Anyway, I…

  • Hurry Up!

    It’s time to slow down. I am guilty of repeatedly telling my kids to “hurry up.” In fact, I said it twice this morning. “Hurry up and get dressed.” “Hurry up and eat your breakfast.” A friend shared this article from The Huffington Post on Facebook. (Yes, old folks haven’t made the transition to Instagram and still use The Facebook.) It literally brought me to tears. Then again, these days I cry when we run out of ketchup. (Hormones + Baby starting pre-school = emotional wreck) Here is an excerpt of the article: The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’ Rachel Macy Stafford When you’re living a distracted life, every…

  • 80’s party

    What the hell were we thinking in the 80’s? The clothes? The hair? (And why the hell do kids want to dress like that in 2013?) Creating the perfect poof is a lot more work than I remember. I had to bust out the Aqua Net last night for an 80’s themed birthday party. Yes, they still sell it. It took me an hour to get ready. Curling, teasing, curling, more teasing until my hair was taller than a top hat. Add a scrunchie and blue eye shadow and I was ready for a Tiffany concert at the mall. My outfit was good. My friend’s costumes were amazing. My personal…

  • Cheesy Potatoes

    When my husband and I were first married I boiled steaks. I am not kidding. I had no idea how to cook. My Mom wasn’t exactly a gourmet chef. We knew dinner was done when the smoke alarm went off. My Dad usually cooked. He is incredible and has taught me a lot. He is also difficult to please so I was amazed when he complimented a recent dish I made. I found this recipe online for Cheesy Potatoes. It’s too good not to share. Here is the recipe: 2 lbs. frozen hash browns thawed (diced) 1 cup butter 1 cup sour cream 1 can cream of chicken soup 1…

  • Bun in the Oven!

    You probably read the headline and thought, She is having another baby? Lock your knees woman! No. I am not with child. My uterus is tired. This is video capturing the moment a stranger announces her pregnancy. Why spend time with my family when I can watch video of random people on YouTube? My announcement was slightly different than this one. It went a little something like this: “You are never going to believe this. I am pregnant.” (Look of sympathy) “Oh no, what are you going to do?” Fast forward 13 years and I have three kids. I never thought I would have children. I was career driven. Getting…

  • Vintage treasures

    I will never forgive my father for throwing away our original Atari video games.   They were stored in a box in a corner in the attic.  We all moved out and he cleaned house. It brings a tear to my eye to think of Donkey Kong sitting alone in a landfill.   A friend of mine still has her vintage gaming system.  She pulled it out and her kids played for hours.  Her 13-year-old son mastered Pitfall on his first turn.  What the hell was wrong with us? I barely made it past level four.    An original Atari system sells for over $100 on Ebay.  It isn’t the only…

  • Da funk

    I am in a funk. It has nothing to do with not finding Ryan Gosling in Skaneatles. Hormones are partially to blame along with receiving some really sad news. I just needed to spend a day in bed. That is impossible when you have three kids. My daughter was up at 7 a.m. this morning. The rest of my family, having stayed up late watching a movie slept until 11 a.m. (Can you even imagine how awesome that would be?) My daughter dosed off on the couch around 10:30. I was about to nap with her when my phone started blowing up. It wasn’t actually blowing up. That’s what the…