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Baby Got Back
Jimmy Fallon is a genius. This is proof:
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Viral videos
Here are a few of my favorite viral videos posted on “The Facebook” today. A party isn’t a party until the DJ plays “Baby Got Back.” …and this one is sure to cure those Monday blues. This video is funny because these people cannot get off the float. Is there ever a graceful way to get down from an inner tube? The answer is no. There is also no way for an adult to maintain their dignity going down a children’s slide. I made the mistake of taking my daughter to a playground this past weekend after a wedding. I become a Crash Test Dummy whenever we visit the park.…
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Let it Go! Oorah!
I have heard this song 999,999 times. My daughter puts the kitchen chairs in rows, makes me sit and watch her perform. I’m not allowed to hear the actual song. She wears headphones while she belts out the incorrect words. Once again, the past isn’t in the car. It’s really pleasant. I’m also not permitted to sit in the front row. Those seats are reserved for the invisible ticket holders. I can barely see past their giant heads. Just when I thought I couldn’t take another YouTube video of “Let it Go” this came along. I present to you….what happens when Marines watch Frozen…..
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Taye Diggs followed you
I will never forget the moment Taye Diggs followed me on Twitter. My kids were finally asleep. I was laying in bed, bloated with a heating pad resting on my abdomen and eating a can of Pringles. I was licking the salt off my fingers when my phone buzzed. It was an alert from Twitter. Did someone like my thought enough to retweet it? How can I feel good about myself unless a complete stranger pats me on the back? Favoriting a tweet only feeds my insecurities Why wasn’t that good enough for a retweet? It’s like getting second place. Nobody is going to see that you favorited my tweet.…
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Epic Wedding Dance
This is how I am going to roll at my son’s wedding if I ever approve of the woman he wants to marry and allow him to get married, but I don’t see that happening. How could any woman compare to his beautiful, funny, thoughtful, loving mother? I pity the girl who tries to take him away from me.
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After Fourth Disease
My daughter has contracted, yet another illness. This latest diagnosis scared the hell out of me. It turned out to be far less serious than I thought. It got me thinking. Why would a medical professional give a viral infection such a chilling name. So, I wrote a short film about it. FADE IN A man with bushy sideburns is pacing back and forth in a medical research lab. The lights are dim. He is in deep thought and does not hear the door open. SCIENTIST #2 “Hey, what are you working on?” The frustrated scientist, who won’t realize how ridiculous his facial hair looks until his children snicker at old…
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Emma Stone vs. Jimmy Fallon
Emma Stone kicked Jimmy Fallon’s a** in this lip sync battle. Spider-who? Girl power!
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Siri + preschooler = Friday night entertainment
There was a time when I spent Friday nights bar hopping with friends. How did the phrase “Bar Hopping” come to be? Did people hop to bars before the automobile was invented? Hopping is a lot of work. I would much rather skip or sidestep than hop. Hell, “Bar Galloping” would be easier, but I digress. My point is times have changed. My entertainment this evening came from a 4-year-old and Siri. This is the advertisement for Siri: Oh, really? That is not entirely true if a preschooler fires off questions. My daughter was telling Siri about the birthday party she attended today. Sure, my kid speaks in fragments followed…
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Southwest Comedian
I really hope we have this flight attendant on our next Southwest flight. To quote my southern friend, “She is a hoot.” I fly Southwest because I don’t want to sell my organs on the black market to pay baggage fees. I am dating myself here, but I remember when that was free and we got to eat peanuts on the plane. Those were the good ole’ days. Actually, I would sell my organs and soul for a direct flight. Why would you choose to make stops when traveling with children? That is like buying the 7 day yeast infection cream when there is a 1 day treatment plan.
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Instant Karma?
Have you seen this video making its way around the world wide web? Jeffrey White, of Florida, was caught on camera tailgating a woman on a highway and giving her the finger. Seconds later, he spun off the road and crashed into a light pole. He was arrested for leaving the scene of an accident. There is no denying Jeff acted like a jerk, but do you notice something wrong in this video? Besides the fact that the woman videotaping (old habits die hard) recording the video had her phone in the wrong position (always record horizontal people!) did you notice she was driving in the wrong lane? Was…