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and the winner is….
We have our first winner in the monthly CynicalMother.com giveaway. As you can see the drawing was very official: Watch this video on YouTube Congratulations to Gayle Lander! You win this beautiful necklace: Don’t worry if you didn’t win. We will have another drawing next month for a cool prize. It’s simple to enter, just subscribe to CynicalMother.com. (Yep, enter your email in the box to left) The necklace was provided by Leann-Beads
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Care package
I apologize to all three people who sat with bated breath, waiting to read today’s blog post. I was in a miserable mood this morning. Actually, I was sad. Can I admit that without being labeled crazy? Well, I am, but that’s between me and my therapist. I told you recently about my friend who lost her sweet baby girl. Grace died after surgery, complications from CDH. She would have been 18-months-old today. I decided to drop off a package of goodies for my friend. I realize there is nothing I can do to ease the pain, but I could try to brighten her day. I packed cookies, snacks, magazines,…
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Say cheese!
It is no secret that I love shopping at thrift stores. I bought my son a Fisher Price Kid Tough Digital Camera from Goodwill. I paid 99 cents. Score! Right? Yes, until your child discovers another family’s photographs on the memory card. My daughter was playing with the camera while my son was at school. I encourage them to share, but it is like trying to convince Jared to eat something other than a Subway sandwich. It’s not going to happen. So, she waits until he leaves to break his stuff. She took the camera into her room to photograph her baby dolls. Who doesn’t want a picture of Baby…
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DisICK
My kids have asked me what hell is like. I tell them it is a very hot place where the only thing on TV is “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Clearly, I am not a fan, but I know the characters. It is hard not to when they are on every magazine rack. Tabloid Magazines chronicle their every move. It pains me to talk about that family, but what happened on a recent episode really pissed me off. I read about this scene online. Kourtney’s husband, Scott Disick (minus the “is”), is unhappy with his wife’s post body baby. She weighs all of 115 pounds. I weighed that in 7th…
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Get it granny!
This chick reminds me of my grandmother. (Damn, I miss her.) She loved music and had similar moves. Do yourself a favor, watch this until the end and listen to what Nana says: Watch this video on YouTube
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Jesse
I met a crazy woman this weekend. I am probably 50 mg of Zoloft away from being just like her. She was sitting in the hair salon waiting to have her roots colored. She greeted each and every person who walked through the door. She talked non-stop. Sometimes she spoke to other patrons. She would also announce her observations to the room. “The prices sure have gone up.” She appeared to be in her late 50’s. A button on her grey cardigan was dangling by a thread. A brightly colored knit hat rested on top of her head. A few people seemed alarmed by her behavior. A guy in his…
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Strike!
I decided to take the kids bowling today. My 3-year-old and 5-year-old were ecstatic. My son actually jumped up and down, “This is the best day ever!” Who knew floor wax and 1970’s decor could bring him so much joy? It was a monumental day for my daughter as well. This morning, I introduced her to the “spork.” It blew her f-ing mind, “Wait, it’s a spoon and a fork?” That’s right girlfriend, take some time to process that one. I forced my 13-year-old to tag along. He was not happy, but it won’t kill him to spend some quality time with his damn family. The bowling alley in our…
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Trapped
“WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE,” my 3-year-old daughter shouted as if filming a scene in a Mission Impossible movie. We couldn’t. We were trapped between a salesclerk drowning in cologne and college students. They couldn’t decide between the shirt exposing their breasts or a skirt that left little to the imagination. My head was spinning. I couldn’t see the exit. The room was not built for a stroller. I kept bumping into metal racks. Muscle shirts were falling to the ground like autumn leaves. The room was dark. Bulbs meant for Light Bright dangled from the ceiling illuminating nothing. My eardrums were vibrating to the beat of blaring…
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Bad choices grandma
My 5-year-old wants green hair. “It would be so cool,” he says. He also wants to drop out of school because he can count to 100. “I know everything.” Well, everything except how to say the letter R. He weally needs to stay in kindergarten. I am all about encouraging kids to express themselves, but I like his chocolate brown hair. I won’t let my children get weird piercings either. (Oh, you are one of those moms? Yes, I am.) Sure, it seems like a great idea to have a small curtain rod poking through your nose when you are 17-years-old. Fast forward several years and you look like this…
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Adventure Time!
I dragged my kids to a few stores today. As you can imagine they were less than pleased. It’s not my fault. They are the ones who always want to eat. (Kids these days are so demanding.) When we walked into the house a song was playing on Cartoon Network. This is completely unrelated, but have you seen the show “Adventure Time” on this station? I want to know what the hell the writers are smoking. Here are just a few of the characters: a dog made of rubber, a kid missing a nose, angry candy and a king willing to break the law for love. I would much rather…