Attention Shoppers

A trip to Walmart is always entertaining. It is like one Great Value pajama party. Why get dressed when you are already wearing flannel Spongebob pants? There was a woman in the bread aisle today wearing a shirt with “MILF” stretched across her chest. Now, I have to assume the committee that voted to give her this title formed in a LASIK surgery pre-op room.

I shop at Wallymart from time to time because the prices can be much cheaper than other stores. It is not to find Prince Charming near the Snuggies. During today’s adventure a Walmart employee announced a giveaway over the intercom. She spoke slowly, as if giving instructions to small children. What were they handing out? Well, what would you give a guy, wearing a Nascar jacket, who looks like he was buying cleaning supplies to cover up a crime? What does every unstable mother of 5, who looks like she hasn’t bathed in a week, need? A knife of course, silly! I have never seen people in pj’s run so fast. I walked slowly toward the exit.

Read more: CynicalMother.com

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