I spent quality time with my teenage son this weekend.  I only had to bribe him with tickets to see Jim Gaffigan.   He is a huge fan of the comedian.  There are very few things my 15-year-old wants to do with me these days.  He responds to questions with one or two word answers.  So, when he used a complete sentence to suggest “we” buy tickets I jumped at the chance.    Of course, in a teenager’s mind my money is his money and his money goes in a vault.    The show was at the New York State Fair.  It is approximately a two hour drive from our house.…

When I was a kid I would tell my parents “One day I am going to be really rich and take care of you.”   I dreamed of being a network news anchor.  I was going to replace Joan Lunden. Well, that didn’t exactly happen since Lunden left Good Morning America when I was still in college. Of course, that’s the only reason.  I did become  a TV news reporter.  I worked in a medium size market  for nearly a decade.  I was born and raised there.  After living briefly in a few other cities I realized it was the only place I wanted to call home.  GMA was going…

Sometimes my glass is half full.  Tonight we took the kids out to dinner and I was optimistic that I would eat a bite of hot food.  My children are getting older.  They don’t require constant attention at the table.  Someone else would be serving the food.  So, it was going to happen, right?  Silly me.  I forgot that my children are drawn to public restrooms like a Kardashian to silicone. I tried to herd the cattle to the lavatory before we were seated.   They didn’t have to go.  Well, they didn’t have to go until the food arrived.  Then, my daughter whispered, “I have to go..” I finished…

My 5-year-old daughter reached another milestone this weekend.  She was invited for her first sleep over.   The invitation brought her so much joy.  She practically skipped around the house gathering the necessities.  In order of importance: American Girl Doll,  dress-up shoes and a half eaten bag of chips. That would be one hell of a party, but we traded Barbie and chip crumbs for pajamas and a sleeping bag.   I asked her not once or twice, but three times if she  wanted to stay.   “Are you sure?”    I’ve known the other child’s mother and father since middle school.   I didn’t have to run a background check or…

I have made some regrettable purchases in my life.  “Lassy Legs”  didn’t replace shaving and ‘buff away unwanted hair.’  The “Perfect Fit” button didn’t extend the waistline of my pants.  It popped off and went airborne, nearly injuring a passerby.  That was a real self esteem boost.  Serves me right for thinking something purchased at the “Dollar Store” could improve my quality of life.    I found a product that someone can purchase when they are living below ‘rock bottom.’      It’s the “Boyfriend Pillow.”  I stumbled across this gem while looking online for decorative pillows. I recently updated the paint and furniture in our living room and it needed…

I bit off more than I can chew.  I decided to paint  our living room.  Home renovations always seem like a great idea when you’re in the hardware store.  That’s because the couple on the cardboard cut out isn’t arguing.  You won’t see an advertisement of a man sweating profusely and cursing as he attempts to hang a light fixture.  There isn’t a woman on the paint can stomping her feet when drops splatter on the floor.   There should be a warning label on all paint products.   WARNING: This product is known to the State of California to cause stress and anxiety.  I wanted to brighten up our “living room.”…

It’s not enough that I spent another day at the amusement park.  My children didn’t go to bed until after 10 p.m.   How is that possible?  We spent eight hours outside on a sweltering day.  They played in the water.   Taking your children swimming usually means automatic alone time at night.  I feel like I ran a race, was in first place and tripped at the finish line.    The amusement park passes were a surprise for my children.   I don’t know if you can call it a gift.  A gift has a positive connotation in most cultures.  Sending me with children to stand in long lines,…

I am convinced my children have tapeworms. There is no other explanation for their incessant need for snacks. They want a snack before breakfast. They want a snack before lunch. They ask for two or three  before and after dinner.   They survive the entire school year without snacking all day, but are famished in the summer.   “There is no way you are hungry again,” I insist.  My daughter will grab her stomach in a dramatic fashion while pleading, “But I am starving.”  I swear she could’ve been a star on Days of Our Lives.   The grocery store clerk must think I have an unhealthy obsession with Goldfish…

I have been so busy I forgot to write a post about the love note left on my car.   It happened on Tuesday.  I was in a really good mood or just delirious from a lack of sleep, but either way I was smiling.  I worked that morning as a guest co-host on a popular radio show.  It is a country music station.  My grandmother, who loved country music, would’ve been so proud.  She often danced around her dining room table singing along to Conway Twitty songs.  She had fire engine red hair and a contagious smile.  This was long before the iPod, CD or even the cassette player.  She…