Kettle. Black.

I will be the first to admit that Madonna isn’t what she once was.  It’s been quite awhile since she has been “Like a Virgin.”  Actually, Madge has seen more action than David Duchovny.  She looked ridiculous sitting on the shoulders of LMFAO’s RedFoo during her Superbowl Halftime show.  (I’m not sure anyone could look classy sitting on a man named RedFoo.  Now, had she chosen SkyBlu it would have been a different story.)  Still, she is a rare talent and looks damn good.  Sure, she took a few dips in the plastic surgery fountain of youth, but who hasn’t.  Meg Ryan can’t even smile anymore.  Sir Elton had the claws out for this interview.  Sister friend, you haven’t had a hit in a LONG time either.  The “C” word?  Is that anyway for a knight to speak?   

Zombie Experiment

My 12-year-old insisted I put this on my blog.  He and his friends play some Zombie video game.  Yes, I am that kind of mother.  I don’t let him play or watch whatever he wants, but you can’t shield your kids from everything.  If you take away toy guns they will pretend a stick is a weapon.  How about we just teach them the difference between right and wrong?   With three kids, I may look like a Zombie from time to time.  I did giggle at a few of the reactions in this video.  

Oh say can you see?

I don’t see what people are complaining about. This rendition of the national anthem isn’t so bad. It sounds like every other song by The Fray. At least the lead singer remembered the words. They could have hired someone like Nicki Minaj. That broad would probably let a nip slip during “The land of the free…..” We should be complaining about those kids in Kentucky setting fires and breaking stuff to celebrate. They need to be put in time out.

Go the F*** to sleep

Please help me understand how my child’s inner alarm clock works. During the week I have to drag Dr. Jekyll out of bed. Then, when the weekend rolls around Mr. Hyde comes scampering into my bedroom cheerfully declaring, “Good Morning Mommy!” This morning my wake-up call was at 6:30 a.m. This is a far cry from my ordeal yesterday with a child who refused to go to school. My 4-year-old is hanging on to the terrible twos like Joan Rivers is hanging on to her youth. Have you seen her face lately? I don’t think she has any skin left to stretch. After demanding, pleading and a little bribery I finally got my son out of bed, dressed and in the garage. Then, as he climbed in the car he spotted a quarter on the seat. He started scrounging for coins in the cushions as if he was jonesing for a cigarette and needed money to buy a pack. We arrived at school 20 minutes late. This morning I played with Batman toys, had a tea party and finished breakfast by 8:00 a.m. I know, there will come a day when I long to be awakened by tiny hands tapping on my shoulder and soft voices whispering in my ear. However, today I am SO bloody tired.