They say ‘you can have it all’.  You can work and be a good mother.  I don’t know who they are, but I think they are delusional.  Sacrifices have to be made to do both jobs well.  I was in an awkward position today.  My 6-year-old daughter was vomiting at 4 a.m.  That wake up call is more painful than shopping for a bathing suit or blue jeans.   I hoped it was just something she ate.  I wanted her to feel better.  I also needed her to go to school.  As much as I want to stay home to care and comfort her – I have a job.  Calling in…

A letter to my children, I know you think life is hard right now.  I made you brush your teeth twice in one day.  I am also the monster that wouldn’t let you stay up late on a school night to play video games, with Barbies or to watch Netflix.  I had the nerve, because I love you, to make you eat something nutritious for dinner,  denying your request to feast on cookies. You think everything will be better when you grow up.  You can stay up as late as you want and eat junk food.  The truth is as an adult you will long for sleep and run for miles…

I feel like a dead man walking. There is a violent vomit virus going through our school district.  I hold my breath every time I log on to Facebook. It seems every day someone else has fallen ill.  My initial reaction is sympathy for the sick child.  Well, truth be told, I am concerned about the sick child and how it will affect me.  Did my children come in contact with this kid?  Should I wash everything or burn the house down?  I am not trying to be selfish, but I must be prepared.  Waking up to the sound of a child vomiting is worse than anything that comes out of…

You can stop ‘liking’ posts about car accidents, grandma’s funeral and when the children of that guy you sat behind in 7th grade Science class get a puke virus. Facebook is rolling out five new emojjis today.   The instructions on how to access the new emojis were printed in several news articles in between the less important stories about ISIS, the crisis in Syria and a plane crash in Nepal.   Hold the “like” button on mobile or hover over the like button on desktop and five animated emoji pop up. Then, tap on love, haha, wow, sad or angry to express your reaction. Facebook said it wants to…

I think I figured out how people choose tattoos.   Some request an intracit piece of artwork, a name or even a symbol because it has meaning.  It represents a moment in time, reminds them of a lost loved one or offers inspiration.  Done right,  a tattoo can truly be a piece of art.  Others walk into a tattoo shop and say, “I’m going to a waterpark next week and I need the ugliest tattoo you got.”  There is an unwritten rule that these tattoos cannot be hidden.  It must be inked on a breast or in the middle of a hairy back.  I saw a few dozen of these tattoos…

When I was a kid trolls were pencil toppers and not crazy people who insult you on Twitter and Facebook.   People on the world wide web can be vicious.  The worst offenders more than likely live in their mom’s basement, are highly medicated or both.   I am constantly lecturing my son to make good decisions for two reasons.   1.) It’s the right thing to do 2.) There is a good chance you could end up on social media.  Case and point, this woman who fell asleep in an unflattering pose at a shopping mall.  A picture of the exhausted shopper has gone viral.  I hope she has…

If you didn’t watch the Super Bowl you didn’t miss much.  The game was boring.  The commercials were boring. The halftime show was boring.  There was a ‘dance off’ between Bruno Mars and Beyonce.  Queen Bey almost fell during a squat, thrust dance move.    That would have been an internet meme sensation. During the show the stadium looked like a hippie threw up.      I watched most of the game with my family.  We binged on snacks including taco dip, pizza, candy and soda.   My children looked confused when they saw the junk food laden spread.  She is going to let us eat all of this?  My…

When my son was little he was obsessed with King Kong.  And not just the modern remake.  He loved the older films.  He is an old soul.  Unique.  I will be honest, I got sick and tired of watching the same movie over and over again.  The graphics in the 1933 film were on par with the Davey and Goliath clay-animated cartoon series.   In elementary school my son was assigned  a project to make something using 100 pieces of any object.  It was to commemorate the 100th day of school.  I have no idea what makes day 100 any more special than day 79 or 84 other than it’s an…

I did something I have never done before and will never do again.  I got on a hoverboard.  I like to think I am a smart woman.  I know my left hand from my right.  I don’t put an s on anyway or misuse their, there or they’re.  I have seen viral videos of people getting tossed on their keisters.   There have been enough accidents that someone created a compilation of the most painful falls recorded.  Mike Tyson couldn’t operate one.   I don’t know why that is significant, but his name came up in a Google search so I thought it was worth a mention.   I knew…

My Facebook feed was flooded tonight with pictures of a doting husband and father.  There was a photo snapped at a party, on the sidelines of a football game and in the pool.  The backdrop changed, but one thing remained in each shot: a genuine smile. This was clearly a man who was happiest when surrounded by his wife and two young daughters.  I went to high school with this couple.  That was a long time ago. They were a few years younger than me.  I won’t pretend that I knew him well or could even call him a friend.  However, I know many people who did and are in…