_____________________________________
-
Dog on a Vine
I need to get off the Davenport and get with the times. I just discovered Vine. Apparently, it’s the latest craze. Initially I thought Six seconds? What on earth could you possibly record in 6 seconds or less that would be worth watching? (Yes, I always think in italics) There are plenty of videos on Vine of teenagers acting like jackasses. I can’t wait to see political campaign ads in 20 years using past social media posts. It may seem like a good idea now to Instagram spring break pictures. I am just thankful we didn’t have smart phones at Daytona Beach 1992. Anyway, this Vine video made me LOL.…
-
Hate Mail
I have arrived! I got my first piece of vicious hate mail. Let’s break it down. Shall we? It would be a spectacular feeling if I could just punch that arrogant smirk you have on your face at all times. (smirking) I hope you licked the Doritos dust off your fingers before typing this message. I know it was a tough day for you. Your Xbox froze while playing online with kids half your age. Your elderly mother is nagging you about the smell in basement “apartment.” Then, you read that Ben Affleck will be the next Batman. Take a deep breath. Violence is never the answer. Your blog is…
-
Hurry Up!
It’s time to slow down. I am guilty of repeatedly telling my kids to “hurry up.” In fact, I said it twice this morning. “Hurry up and get dressed.” “Hurry up and eat your breakfast.” A friend shared this article from The Huffington Post on Facebook. (Yes, old folks haven’t made the transition to Instagram and still use The Facebook.) It literally brought me to tears. Then again, these days I cry when we run out of ketchup. (Hormones + Baby starting pre-school = emotional wreck) Here is an excerpt of the article: The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’ Rachel Macy Stafford When you’re living a distracted life, every…
-
Classy Wedding March
Oh. My. Goodness. It takes a lot to offend me. These hillbillies made my jaw drop. You’ve probably seen a YouTube video of a creative wedding speech, march down the aisle, etc. Yours truly gave an unique speech at my friend Nikki’s wedding. It’s all in good fun. However, this couple took it to a new level. If they wanted to shock their guests, well, mission accomplished. Poor Timmy. Warning: Extremely offensive language.
-
Sheep Protest
I find many protests laughable. I covered my fair share while working in local news. It’s the same group of people at every one. I don’t know if they are passionate about the cause or just unemployed. If you want to make a difference donate to a charity or volunteer. Besides, do you really think holding a poorly made sign on a street corner is going to convince the President of the United States to end a war? I’m just sayin… This protest really made me chuckle:
-
Pig-Pen
In a few weeks I will return to my job as a chauffeur. I dread the back to school schedule. It is nearly impossible for me to be on time. Let’s just say I have written my share of Please excuse my son for being late… notes. I usually blame the alarm clock. The main office secretary doesn’t need to know my 6-year-old refused to get dressed because he wanted to play video games or that my daughter spilled a tiny drop of juice on her shirt as we were walking out the door and demanded a new outfit. I am trying to enjoy my last few weeks of freedom.…
-
Hate Mail
This letter should surprise me. It doesn’t. People can be incredibly ignorant. It was mailed to the grandmother of a child named Max, 13, who is Autistic. Read it and we’ll talk: Can you believe this? Max’s mother Karla Begley says her son stays with his grandmother in the morning during the summer. Apparently Satan lives in grandma’s neighborhood. Who else would tell a parent to euthanize a child? They reside in Canada, but must have kin in the United States. I have witnessed people mocking a child with Autism. A mother (or father) dies a little inside with each snicker or stare. She wishes her child would play with…
-
80’s party
What the hell were we thinking in the 80’s? The clothes? The hair? (And why the hell do kids want to dress like that in 2013?) Creating the perfect poof is a lot more work than I remember. I had to bust out the Aqua Net last night for an 80’s themed birthday party. Yes, they still sell it. It took me an hour to get ready. Curling, teasing, curling, more teasing until my hair was taller than a top hat. Add a scrunchie and blue eye shadow and I was ready for a Tiffany concert at the mall. My outfit was good. My friend’s costumes were amazing. My personal…
-
Back to school shopping
It was like a scene from “The Walking Dead” only worse. The aisles were crowded. Women, with eyes glazed over, pushed a cart with one hand while clenching a piece of paper in the other. A mother shopping for back to school supplies is scarier than a zombie. One woman was sweating. Another was trying to navigate through the store with not one or two, but three children. What the hell was she thinking? A seasoned school supply shopper knows you can’t bring your kid with you. He/she will want everything that is not on the list. A teacher who requests a certain color folder is basically giving you the…
-
I heart Chris
I have always liked Ashton Kutcher. He is usually a goofball and easy on the eyes. I like Ashton, but love Chris and his message to our children. Watch his inspirational speech at the 2013 “Teen Choice Awards.” Who knew he had it in him?