Cry me a river

“Poor Ann Curry!” I heard this over and over again today. First of all, she ain’t poor. Poor is using a Sharpie to spruce up a pair of black shoes for your kid because you didn’t have polish. #TRUESTORYIDIDITTHISWEEK
(Yea, I abuse my hashtag power from time to time. What, what?!) Anyway, Ann’s shirts, ya know the ones that look like Maria sewed out of curtains, are worth more than your house.

So what she lost this position! Welcome to the real world. Unless you just got back from a trip in a DeLorean you know the economy sucks. This happens everyday to people that make far less. I lost a job via text message after ten years of loyal service. (I may or may not have a voodoo doll of that particular boss.)

Ann is getting reassigned. She will still make a stupid amount of money. She wasn’t right for The Today Show. First of all, she is way too intense before 9 a.m. This morning while interviewing Matthew McConaughey about “Magic Mike” it was like she was speaking to a former P.O.W. What was it like? To pretend to have women put money in your jockstrap? You aren’t going to get him to cry. There are no life lessons here. It’s about hot guys taking their clothes off. (Praise Jesus!) She needs to go overseas to cover hard news. She can whisper to the rebels in Syria. I want someone on that couch to make me forget that gasoline is expensive and Snooki is procreating. Sure, throw in some hard news here and there, but let’s learn how to make a basket out of old socks, bake tasty 4th of July treats and watch people make complete asses out of themselves in the plaza. Ann will be okay as long as she doesn’t get a call from the producers of “Dancing With the Stars.” That is when you know your career is over.