Extreme Coupons

I have become that woman. You know, the one we goofed on when we were younger. The person in line at the grocery store with a coupon binder. I think we can all agree that is not as annoying as the person paying with a check. Hi, 1994 called and they want your checkbook back. Get a damn debit card! Do you think I have time to waste 3 whole minutes while you write out $53.78 in long form?

When I left my job as a TV News Reporter to stay home with my kids I was looking for ways to save money. After all, I wasn’t bringing home a paycheck anymore. Please don’t say I don’t work. I would argue being a SAHM is more exhausting than most jobs. I deserve a huge salary. Instead I am rewarded with temper tantrums.

Anyway, I started clipping coupons. I would save .50 here and there. Then, I went to a blogging conference in New York City and met Chrystie Corns. She is the brains behind Ilovetogossip.com. She doesn’t blog about whether Kim Kardashian was wearing a bra or if Lindsey Lohan stole a necklace. (because who f-ing cares!) She is an extreme couponer. It’s a cult of women who load pantries with shampoo, crackers and soup. They get most items for pennies or, in many cases, free. I thought: sign me up bitches! However, It’s a lot more work than I thought:

It involves Math and stuff. Everyone knows a writer can’t add and vice versa. I have learned there are more than just coupons in the weekly Sunday paper inserts. Take for example this advertisement for a fleece sweatsuit:

The designer doesn’t care if you look like Mr. Snuffleupagus. Why? Fleece + Elastic = Heaven! It’s too bad there isn’t a coupon for this outfit.

CynicalMother.com