Finding the words

There is no handbook on how to help a grieving friend. There are no magic words to take away the pain of losing a child. In fact, you often find yourself struggling, stumbling, babbling when you should just shut up and listen. You want to smother her with love, but keep your distance, give her the space she needs. What do you say on what would have been her daughter’s second birthday? Many people have said her baby girl is,“In a better place.” No, she was in the perfect place. She has a mother and father who absolutely love her. She has an aunt who moved across country to help care for her, grandparents who would have moved mountains for her and a sister who was becoming her best friend. God has a plan and I have to accept that, but this one sucks. Plain and simple.

I want to patch my friend’s heart and tell her it will be okay. I want to list the many, many reasons why I think she is an incredible woman and mother. I want her to know I am in awe of her strength and that I think about her constantly. I tried to write it all down today, but couldn’t find the right words. The only thing I could say was I love you, my friend.


  • Dawn

    You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do. Continue to be there for her. Listen to her laugh, cry, scream, or sit in silence. Tell her your favorite stories of her precious little angel. I still love to hear about Shae from others that knew him.

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