For Sale

I recently decided to use what’s called a “virtual garage sale” to unload items cluttering up my house. The concept is simple. You post crap you want to get rid of, someone makes an offer and you meet for the trade. This particular site happens to be operated locally. People sell everything on it. I even saw a post for underwear. “New, without tags” was listed in the description. How do I know you didn’t take that pair out for a spin? Gross.

I had a garage sale once. I wasted an entire day preparing and another 6 hours to earn $78. I could make clothes for Kathie Lee Gifford for more money than that. I actually had people trying to negotiate items priced at 25 cents.

Well, a bunch of my friends used this online site and made some extra cash. I posted some things and immediately got a few bites. We would meet in a public place for the transaction. I was told to look for a white Dodge Caravan. I arrived on time and saw a woman sitting in a white Dodge Caravan. I grabbed the merchandise and got out of my car. I felt like a drug dealer, but instead of Meth I was selling a girl’s 4T Nike fleece for $3. As I approached the van it appeared the buyer was on her cell phone. I politely waited a minute, but quickly got aggravated. I was doing her the favor. I paid $15 for this jacket. I gently tapped on the window.
“Can I help you,” she said with attitude. “I have your jacket,” I replied.
“Who are you. How did you get my jacket?”
“Aren’t you here to buy this,” I said and held up the bag.
“I’m meeting a friend for coffee.”

It turns out there are a lot of white Dodge Caravans in this town. My buyer was 10 minutes late. So, I wasted my time and was humiliated for three bucks. I swear these things only happen to me. At least the other lady has something to talk about over coffee.

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