I’m sexy and I know it

Now I know why I don’t workout at a gym. As if I don’t feel insecure enough the equipment faces the wall? So, I am left to stare at chipping paint while meatheads count the bumps on my bum. I am used to exercising in the comfort of my own home while my children whine, scream and demand things from me. Therefore, I don’t own stylish workout clothes. I brought my usual attire with me on vacation. Basically, I look like I play second base for a circa 1990 woman’s softball team. There were two incredibly good looking Italian guys nearby who must have been training for Mr. Universe. Settle down with the grunting Giuseppe. I pretended they were into women with three children who haven’t shaved since Friday. Yeah, they’re checking you out. I told myself. They may have been thinking How can a woman sweat so much? To quote the teenagers running full speed on treadmills nearby, “Whatevs!”