-
Graduation Party
Today is a big day for one of my dear friends. It’s her son’s high school graduation party. When I met him he was a skinny boy with a cowlick and a cute smile. I saw him go from being the awkward kid with braces to the star football player. Luckily, he was raised well and never became an arrogant jock. Those guys grow up to be the fat, bald men in town working nine to five while longing for their glory days. Am I bitter that those dudes wouldn’t date me in high school? Nope, they blossomed too soon. Clearly, I win! This young man is smart and kind.…
-
Sucker Punch!
Oh hell, no! If this were my daughter, Olympics or not, I would have marched on the field and scolded this girl. In case you missed today’s soccer game, a player for the Colombian team sucker punched U.S. player Abby Wambach on the field. It was unprovoked. I know Abby Wambach is a grown woman, but it doesn’t matter. I’m sure her mother was fuming! Abby scored. Colombia lost and this chick will probably get suspended. She should also go in time-out. My husband thinks I’m a little too involved in the lives of my children. I will admit I am that mother. I just can’t stay out of it. “It” being…
-
No Campfire Necessary
A lovely co-worker of mine made these for my last day at work. They were fantastic! I highly recommend. Thanks sweet Kait! Click here for Smore Cups recipe
-
Opening Ceremonies
I woke this morning to countless posts on Facebook about The Opening Ceremonies for the 2012 Olympic Games. So, I watched it this morning on DVR. I may have been out last night celebrating my career move with good friends and margaritas. Mommy is a lightweight and felt tipsy after one glass. I didn’t go all “Coyote Ugly” on the bar top, but I do have a raging headache this morning. I am old. The Queen made her acting debut as a James Bond girl. Impressive. Look out Jennifer Aniston, once your majesty figures out how to smile she will steal all your romantic comedy roles. Then, there was Mr.…
-
Fade to Black
This is me. For the past decade I have worked in local television news. Most recently I was an on-air personality. Sounds pretty fancy, huh? It’s not. I was a reporter. I covered every story you can imagine regardless of the weather conditions. I often rode in filthy trucks with toxic fumes billowing in the air. Before you start booing and hissing please listen. The media isn’t as bad as many perceive. In fact, sometimes I cared too much. I never wanted to knock on someone’s door after they suffered an unimaginable loss. I had to. No matter how quickly I moved, the sidewalk seemed to go on for miles.…
-
Wacko Jacko
“What do we want?” “Katherine freed!” “When do we want it?” “Now!” What? Katherine Jackson wasn’t kidnapped? She’s relaxing at a spa in Arizona? Apparently the Jackson family matriarch just needed a little rest. I guess all that breakdancing got to her. Perhaps, she was chillin in a hyperbaric chamber. It’s totally normal for grandma to disappear without a trace. Then, reappear in what looks like a SoCal terrorist video. I believe her statement about as much as I’d believe Kim Kardashian is a virgin. For the love of Bubbles the chimp, can’t y’all just act normal. I wish my kids knew the Jacksons before they drank crazy juice. I…
-
Exactly
-
The Science Guy
I am not a scientist. Actually, I believe I failed science in the 7th grade. I have a vivid memory of that class thanks to a guy named Frank. Frank smoked, cursed and dressed like Slash from Guns n’ Roses. One morning, apparently having missed breakfast, he scooped a fish out of the classroom tank and ate it. At that moment, I predicted he would end up in prison. Nope, he became a doctor. Go figure. Anyway, I am conducting an experiment. It’s a simple test. It doesn’t involve beakers or needles. I did have a friend recently sign up to be a test subject in a flu experiment. She…
-
Bravo Batman
This picture gave me goosebumps. Christian Bale visited shooting victims in Colorado. This gesture negates all the other times he was a total douchebag. Photo taken by NBC News
-
Just say no to tube socks
I am not going to pretend I am a fashionista. My “mom” wardrobe often consists of t-shirts and Bermuda shorts. I have never been to Bermuda. I have a few pieces in my closet that would knock your socks off. Well, unless you are wearing tube socks. Those suckers don’t come off easy. In the past few days I have seen three separate men wearing tube socks with shorts. What are you hiding under there? It’s 80+ degrees outside. Your ankles are screaming for air. I’m guessing you are married to a passive woman that wouldn’t dare criticize you. Lucky for you, I am not that woman. You look ridiculous.…