Super Duper

I always chat with the cashier at the grocery or department store. In fact, I probably annoy the people standing in line behind me. My mama raised me right. It’s important to be polite.

I worked, albeit brief, at a supermarket when I was a teenager. The now-defunct store was called “Super Duper.” I’m not kidding. Who thought that was a good name for a grocery store? It’s impossible to sound sophisticated and say “Super Duper.”

My career at “Super Duper” was short lived. I actually walked out mid-shift after a customer put her items on the conveyer belt. The woman picked the wrong day to be rude. An hour earlier I was called into the manager’s office and scolded for wearing a short skirt. This guy had greasy skin, hair on his knuckles and was missing important teeth. The collar of his white buttoned down shirt was permanently stained yellow. His lecture was absolutely humiliating. My skirt was not short. The blonde bimbo working lane one was wearing a skirt that practically exposed her vagina. She didn’t get yelled at. I believe ‘Mr. Boss Man’ discriminated against me because I had cankles. So, when the woman barked at me to ‘double bag’ her groceries I quit. I didn’t lose it because she wanted a brown bag inside a plastic bag. However, that is an annoying and greedy request. It was the tone in which she spoke to me that sent me over the edge. I shut off the light, turned in my drawer and marched out the automatic sliding doors. It wasn’t professional, but it felt good.

The cashier I encountered today was a kind young man. I surmise he was in his early 20’s. Initially, we talked about the weather. Cashiers act like they haven’t been outside in a decade once their shift starts. “What’s it like out there?” You’re not a prisoner of war being held captive in a dark, underground bunker. The weather hasn’t changed since you punched in. He told me how he helped his mother and neighbor shovel their driveways. I complimented him for his chivalry.

Then, the conversation took a sharp left turn. He asked what I was planning for Valentine’s Day. I’m not planning anything. He then suggested romantic things I could do with “my man.” He told me I should drop some hints on what gift I would like. “You know, jewelry, flowers or even a teddy bear. You’re never too old to get a teddy bear.” Yes. Yes, you are. What is a middle aged woman going to do with a teddy bear? How could I possibly decide between putting it on my bed or hanging it in the rear window of my car? I do not want relationship advice from the guy weighing my produce and asking if I want my milk in a bag. I don’t need a bag. It has a damn handle. I chuckled uncomfortably until he handed over my receipt. Then, I got the h*ll out of there. It was just the beginning of a super duper day.

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