• Sick day

    I want my 5-year-old to feel better, but for selfish reasons. Don’t call child protective services just yet. Of course, I love my son and don’t want him to suffer, but I would rather be shopping. With just two weeks until Christmas if I don’t get moving I may have to tell my kids Santa Claus died. Instead of chillin’ with the early bird mall walkers, I am home wiping a snotty nose and watching “Fred 3: Camp Fred.” It is a show on Nickelodeon. Fred Figglehorn is quite possibly the most annoying character on television. He speaks in a voice similar to Gilbert Godfrey and takes fashion advice from…