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Dad reenacts conversation with toddler
Here is another idea I wish I had first. My 13-year-old couldn’t understand why I found this video amusing. Then again, he couldn’t understand why I got pissed when he asked me this morning if I was pregnant. “Oh, it’s just your stomach was sticking out,” he said. After all these damn crunches I still look like I am in the first trimester? I am not pregnant, but I may put him up for adoption. Parents will appreciate the hilarity in this reenactment. I LOL’d.
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Blue light special
I laughed out loud when I saw this commercial. I have good memories in Kmart. When I was a kid my family hopped into our light blue Caprice Classic and headed to Kmart to buy school clothes. Honey, there was a stampede when that blue light went off. It was usually a fun outing that included lunch at a restaurant. (Oh, you fancy, huh?) My kids call that Tuesday. My brother, sister and I each got 5 outfits. Wednesday was Michael Jackson glitter glove t-shirt day. Jealous? My kids don’t appreciate shopping trips because they have more clothes than me. I have to buy my 13-year-old son’s attire at a…
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Today’s word is disturbing
My 5-year-old brings home a different book every night. If possible, they are supposed to read it five times to different people. I could not keep a straight face when my son read it to me. We were in hysterics laughing at the ridiculousness of the subject matter. It’s not that I find this family’s loss funny. I just cannot believe it was made into a book to teach kindergarteners sight words. Here it is: Before we begin I read the title. “Goodbye Perky,” I say. I haven’t seen anything perky in a decade. “Well, let’s find out where Perky went.” How could I have known what was about to…
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Jump around, jump up, jump up and get down
My kids have a three day weekend. So, we went to an indoor trampoline park on Friday afternoon. There is a 50/50 chance you will get a one way ticket to the emergency room at this place. We managed to leave in one piece. I was worried my younger two would be afraid. We have a trampoline at home, but this is a little intimidating to me. It is a giant warehouse of trampolines. There are basketball hoops on trampolines and an entire area for trampoline dodgeball. The latter may not be such a good idea for a 5-year-old. (Hindsight is a bitch) To the kid who threw a ball…
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Say cheese!
It is no secret that I love shopping at thrift stores. I bought my son a Fisher Price Kid Tough Digital Camera from Goodwill. I paid 99 cents. Score! Right? Yes, until your child discovers another family’s photographs on the memory card. My daughter was playing with the camera while my son was at school. I encourage them to share, but it is like trying to convince Jared to eat something other than a Subway sandwich. It’s not going to happen. So, she waits until he leaves to break his stuff. She took the camera into her room to photograph her baby dolls. Who doesn’t want a picture of Baby…
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DisICK
My kids have asked me what hell is like. I tell them it is a very hot place where the only thing on TV is “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Clearly, I am not a fan, but I know the characters. It is hard not to when they are on every magazine rack. Tabloid Magazines chronicle their every move. It pains me to talk about that family, but what happened on a recent episode really pissed me off. I read about this scene online. Kourtney’s husband, Scott Disick (minus the “is”), is unhappy with his wife’s post body baby. She weighs all of 115 pounds. I weighed that in 7th…
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Jesse
I met a crazy woman this weekend. I am probably 50 mg of Zoloft away from being just like her. She was sitting in the hair salon waiting to have her roots colored. She greeted each and every person who walked through the door. She talked non-stop. Sometimes she spoke to other patrons. She would also announce her observations to the room. “The prices sure have gone up.” She appeared to be in her late 50’s. A button on her grey cardigan was dangling by a thread. A brightly colored knit hat rested on top of her head. A few people seemed alarmed by her behavior. A guy in his…
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www.nobodytoldme.com
I try to keep up with modern technology. My phone is smart. I regularly use hip text lingo. LOL. However, I just learned I am stuck in the 90’s when it comes to surfing the web. I didn’t get the memo that you no longer have to type “www” to access a website. My husband saw me logging on to the world wide web and asked, “What are you doing?” Nobody calls it the world wide web anymore? “You don’t have to type www,” he chuckled. I moved my pocketbook and sat down on the Davenport to catch my breath. Am I really that old? I did get a typewriter…
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Knight Rider
I am not one to turn a blind eye to criminal activity. However, this is one situation I believe breaking the law may be justified. Barbie has apparently kidnapped David Hasseloff. Yeah, this toy is old skool! My daughter says he is Barbie’s Daddy and they are going for a ride. We all know what happened in a Soprano’s episode when someone went for a ride in the trunk. You don’t come back. Perhaps Barbie caught “The Hoff” eating another In and Out burger. That is one disgusting video I will never be able to get out of my head. I had a stern talk with my daughter about why…