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A warm hug….
I think it is time for my son’s school to update its book collection. In kindergarten students are encouraged to refer to the pictures to help them read. It makes learning difficult when your kid has no idea what is in the picture. Here is an example. A recent book we read was titled “Hugs Are Warm.” I am sure, back in the day, this book was a contender for the Caldecott Medal. Nowadays, it doesn’t quite work: A warm hug is like… a diseased liver? (Real answer: a water bottle) A warm hug is like…. ….. a furry sweater? (real answer: a coat) A warm hug is like…. ….…
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Bath time
Bath time sucks. The advertising gods have a way of making it look like the highlight of each day. Children are gently splashing in the water while Mom looks on with a twinkle in her eye. Don’t get me wrong, my kids love hopping in the tube. Literally. They love to hop in the tub. I would be a millionaire if I got a $1 each time I said, “Sit down. You’re going to fall.” The other popular phrase is, “Don’t put the water in your mouth.” Do they realize they are drinking their own filth? I spend 10 minutes hunched over the tub trying to get shampoo out of…
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Screenshot This
Recently, I wrote a piece voicing my opinion on the STFU Parents Blog. Blair Koenig, who operates the site, left a scathing comment and sent out a tweet. I expected it. I did not expect to receive offensive emails calling me a bad mother, crazy and even attacking my husband’s military service. Apparently you are not allowed to disagree with Blair. I know I am not the only one. It seemed the visitors coming to my site weren’t familiar with my sarcasm and sense of humor. I should have taken the high road, but decided to respond to her comment like I often do. Then, my supporters started getting…
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A side dish of….
There are certain things you never want to see or hear at a restaurant. Finding a hair in your food is at the top of the list. A waitress with a runny nose is a close second. I rarely go out to eat with the entire family. Once you have more than one kid it’s really more work than it is enjoyable. You don’t see the Duggar’s dining at Chili’s. Well, today I decided let’s take the family out. Yee-haw! (Cue banjo) I won’t say where we went because what happened was not exactly pleasant. I would have preferred our waitress pull her hair back instead channeling Slash from…
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Dora the Gangster
My daughter has learned a lot from Dora the Explorer. She knows “Hola” means “Hello.” From time to time she butchers the Spanish language by making up words. “Bolanenero, Molameno” apparently means “Let’s Go!” Swiper taught her you can’t trust everyone and have to protect your stuff. She may be taking things a little too far. This morning she loaded up her backpack for our daily adventure: After we got past the damn troll (who does this guy think he is trying to stop an unsupervised young girl and his monkey from crossing bridges?) I discovered this in her backpack. I think she got the Nickelodeon show confused with…
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Girl Power
The doorbell at our house broke. It didn’t just stop working. It appears someone smashed the button. Perhaps Ryan Gosling was frustrated when I didn’t answer the door. That or my children pounded on it with a toy and won’t fess up. I’m guessing, unfortunately, it’s the latter. Either way, the last time it broke my husband’s solution was simple: people can just knock. True story. So, I fixed it myself. I know it’s not complicated, but I still wanted to shout “I am woman, hear me roar!” I repaired the doorbell again yesterday. My son noticed and said, “Looks like Dad fixed the doorbell.” I informed him that it…