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Emma Stone vs. Jimmy Fallon
Emma Stone kicked Jimmy Fallon’s a** in this lip sync battle. Spider-who? Girl power!
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Emotional Baby
A baby is moved to tears by his mother’s singing. My children cry when I sing, too, but for a very different reason. (You’re a bit pitchy dawg) This is beautiful and worth watching:
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Too old
I had an epiphany while strolling down an aisle in Target. I am too old to wear Uggs. Two teenagers were steps behind me when I overheard one say, “If my Mom wore Uggs I would throw mine in the garbage.” They both let out an evil cackle. I was crying inside. I still feel like I am in my twenties, but alas, I am not. Was I dressing appropriately for my age? It’s not like I am running around in a half top. I rocked that s**t in the 9th grade, but those days are gone. Mama has a stretch mark maze on her belly. A podiatrist made the…
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Unicorn + Peacock = ?
I love Christopher Columbus. Regardless of whether or not he actually discovered America, my kids get the day off from school. So, we won’t be late today! It doesn’t matter what time I get up something always comes up that delays our departure. Just recently, we were late to school because my daughter wanted to draw a unicorn. Let me repeat: she refused to leave until she drew a unicorn. She is obsessed with an imaginary animal. Dear God, please don’t let her grow up to play Dungeons & Dragons. She will draw unicorn-dogs, unicorn-birds, unicorn-cows, etc. They all look alike. Her creations are nothing like this picture posted on…
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Little girl’s last wish for her daddy
A dying father who always hoped to see his daughter marry has been granted this final wish after a special ceremony was held in his hospital room. It is beautiful, yet heartbreaking. Watch the video. Then, read the full story here.
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Nasty to the core
“Oh no! What day is it,” my 13-year-old set down his fork, suddenly panic-stricken while eating pancakes. “It’s Thursday.” He took a deep breath, cupped his face in his hands and said, “That means we have to do Carnegie Math on the computer.” It is another part of the “Common Core State Standards.” Forty five states and the District of Columbia have adopted the new curriculum. The standards are more challenging for K-12 students. What’s wrong with that? Every teacher must revamp their style of teaching to match the new standards. They are given binders with scripted lesson plans. The lessons are boring. Many teachers say they have been…
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Minivan Mix
I am a big fan of Bruno Mars. So, when I heard a radio DJ introduce his new song I cranked the volume. Pump up the volume, pump up the volume, dance, dance. Mama knows how to rock out in the minivan. Then, this happened : “Here is Bruno Mars’ latest song, Gorilla” Okay, the song is about gorillas kids. That is one of our favorite exhibits at the zoo. (turns up the volume even more) Ooh I got a body full of liquor With a cocaine kicker And I’m feeling like I’m thirty feet tall So lay it down, lay it down Mommy, what’s cocaine? I think he…
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My bologna has a first name….
I cook dinner (almost) every night. It’s not because I am a subservient wife. I have three children who demand to eat three meals a day. I know, who do they think they are? Some days we grab take-out and my husband is left to fend for himself when he gets home from work. Then, there are days when I just don’t feel like cooking and they eat sandwiches. Bottom line, my husband does not expect a hot meal on the table when he gets home at night. He is grateful when I do cook. (As he should be) When I read a story about a woman in New York…
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Make it work
I am a model bitches! Well, I was for an hour. I didn’t get the full experience. I opted for french fries instead of cotton balls for lunch. My friend Kevin is a talented photographer. I needed a new head shot and he wanted pictures for his portfolio. Apparently, all that he is missing is the ‘middle-aged Mom with a kangaroo pouch’ shot. He sent me a text message a few days before our scheduled shoot. I nearly spit out my milkshake reading it. High fashion? Does the clearance rack at Target count? What about the white, oversized, v-neck t-shirt I wear around the house? Now, I was nervous. I…
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Call me, Maybe?
So, that’s a maybe? The President of the United States gave a primetime speech to say “Maybe?” Odd. No, I am not getting all political on you. I hate politics. My husband ran for congress and it was a nightmare. I’m talking “1, 2 Freddy’s coming for you…” scary. It’s a dirty sport especially when you are not rich. Scoring $14.30 in soda cans doesn’t buy much. Well, a top local politician didn’t think he was worthy of running in the primary. Apparently, for some the whole We love the troops thing is just BS. “What have you done besides kill people?!” he screamed, spraying the room with his venomous…