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See?
I may have the only child in the world that wants glasses. I took my 5-year-old to the eye doctor a month ago after he complained he couldn’t see words. He cannot read yet. He just started kindergarten. I never purchased the “My Baby Can Read” DVD’s. I am too cheap. Plus, the commercials with babies reading freaked me out more than the dancing baby on Ally McBeal. Besides, if the B-A-B-Y can S-P-E-L-L how can I have a conversation in front of H-I-M? I couldn’t just ignore his cries for spectacles. What if he really was having trouble seeing? It turns out he thought he would be able to…
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Ain’t that the truth
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FREE
I cleaned out some closets this weekend. It’s amazing how quickly children outgrow clothing. I gathered a few bags to sell at a consignment shop. It’s a great way to make some extra money to put toward new clothes for the kids. They always have the latest fashions. Meanwhile, I’m still rockin my B.U.M. sweatshirt. (If you are in your 20’s you will have no idea what that means.) I also need to clear out junk in the basement. I need to get rid of a broken high chair, old desk, etc. My town requires a special ticket to put larger items on the curb….. OR I can do what…
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Answer the question
I spent the morning searching for a Spiderman costume. My 5-year-old acted like Colombo interrogating me, “What did you do with my costume?” “When was the last time you saw it?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wore it to a rave last night. Things got a little out of hand and I lost it. It’s not as easy as it looks to hold a pacifier and a glow stick while dancing. Oh wait, the costume wouldn’t fit me and I haven’t seen the inside of a bar since Nash Bridges was on television. I also didn’t steal his Batman toy, book, juice cup, etc. I am…
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I’m Sexy and I Know It
We had our first conference with the teacher this morning. It wasn’t scheduled. We were running late, as usual. My husband and son walked in the building moments before the bell rang. As my he turned to leave the teacher stopped him, “Can I have word with you?” Oh no, what did he do? Was he speaking out of turn? Did he hit someone? Did he use a red crayon when he was told to use green? None of the above. “I am very proud of your son,” she continued. “Yesterday a few boys were singing “I’m Sexy and I know It” during playtime. Your son pulled the boys aside…
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Are you ready for some football?
It is the time of the year when men focus on something other than sex. Football. Unless you live under a rock you know today is the season opener for most teams in the NFL. I am not your stereotypical woman. Oh, don’t get me wrong I complain every Sunday. I am different in the sense that I actually enjoy watching football. However, the earth I live on doesn’t stop spinning at kickoff. I still have to take care of our three children. One may need food in the 1st quarter, a butt wiped in the 2nd and another will demand I attend a tea party in the 3rd and…
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Oh, Hey Conan!
It’s not polite to brag, but screw it. This is some pretty impressive company:
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Metal mouth
Here we go again. I will be making another trip to the orthodontist. My son knocked off a bracket. He has no idea how it happened. Oh, I don’t know, maybe it was the pretzels or gummy bears he snacked on while I slept. I don’t keep an inventory of food, but I am not stupid. He complains daily about having to wear braces. He will thank me someday. I’m spending nearly six grand so he doesn’t end up looking like 75% of the people at the state fair. Besides, he is already 12-years-old and will have them off in a year. Well, that is, unless he has a lousy…
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Reservation for ….
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A side dish of….
There are certain things you never want to see or hear at a restaurant. Finding a hair in your food is at the top of the list. A waitress with a runny nose is a close second. I rarely go out to eat with the entire family. Once you have more than one kid it’s really more work than it is enjoyable. You don’t see the Duggar’s dining at Chili’s. Well, today I decided let’s take the family out. Yee-haw! (Cue banjo) I won’t say where we went because what happened was not exactly pleasant. I would have preferred our waitress pull her hair back instead channeling Slash from…