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Girl Power
The doorbell at our house broke. It didn’t just stop working. It appears someone smashed the button. Perhaps Ryan Gosling was frustrated when I didn’t answer the door. That or my children pounded on it with a toy and won’t fess up. I’m guessing, unfortunately, it’s the latter. Either way, the last time it broke my husband’s solution was simple: people can just knock. True story. So, I fixed it myself. I know it’s not complicated, but I still wanted to shout “I am woman, hear me roar!” I repaired the doorbell again yesterday. My son noticed and said, “Looks like Dad fixed the doorbell.” I informed him that it…
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Dear anonymous,
What a pleasant way to start my day. I got an email from “anonymous” criticizing my choice to leave the news business and write “trash.” First of all, I always value opinions from someone who doesn’t even have the balls to put his/her name on a message. I am still a journalist. I will, in fact, freelance write serious articles about parenting. However, on this site I will be me: a loving, sarcastic and (if I do say so myself) witty mom. I like to laugh about ridiculous situations in life. The wonderful thing about the world wide web is you have so many choices. So, being you are clearly…
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BlogHer ’12
My whirlwind trip to New York didn’t go quite as I planned. My cab was involved in an accident, a homeless man coughed on me as I walked past Bryant Park and I didn’t marry Ryan Gosling. I also had a small mishap in the bathroom. It figures that I would choose the stall previously occupied by a woman who clearly ate too much fiber for lunch. Of course, after I finished my business the toilet wouldn’t flush. I tried hitting the button repeatedly with my foot. Nothing. I couldn’t walk out of the stall with a long line of women waiting outside. It took flailing my arms like Lady…
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Cheap(er) bib necklace
I saw this necklace at JCrew and fell in love. However, unless I force my children to work in a sweat shop I can’t afford it right now. Who has $100 to drop on a necklace you can’t wear with everything. Well, this one on Etsy is on $34. My kids will only have to open a Lemonade stand and it’s mine, all mine! www.etsy.com
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De-clutter
I need to de-clutter and since the kids aren’t going anywhere I better start with my bedroom and bathroom. This seems like a good idea. Well, with the exception of the curling iron. What is this 1993?
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Children of the Corn
It doesn’t matter where you live there is always that mother who strives to make the rest of us look like assholes. There is a mom at my son’s pre-school who seems to skip into the building with bluebirds on her shoulder. She sews her daughters clothing and jars vegetables for the winter. I had no doubt she would make Valentine’s Day cards. While the rest of us scoured Walmart for Spiderman Valentines that say things like “I Want to Hang Around You” she cut down a tree and made her own paper. I barely had enough patience to sit as my son signed his own name to each…
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Don’t cough on me!
It happened. My body couldn’t fight it anymore. I am sick. I’m certain I caught this virus from the little girl coughing in my face at my son’s pre-school. Hey moms out there: If your kid has green snot oozing out of their nose KEEP THEM HOME. I know this may cut into your scrapbooking time. The stickers aren’t going anywhere. You can finish your tribute to Walt Disney another day. I actually overheard a mother the other day say, “He threw up last night, but felt fine this morning and didn’t want to miss gym day.” Plus, she needed to finish the wreath she was making for her front…