Hey girl, heeeey!

A friend of mine texted today, “Are you okay? You haven’t been blogging.” Honestly, I am exhausted. I realize my laziness left all three of my fans without mindless nonsense to read. I’m sorry to disappoint. As I mentioned with my less than subtle YouTube post, I was in a wedding this weekend.


I didn’t have permission from the groomsmen to post his picture. So, I had to improvise. I think I look good with Bobblehead Ryan. Hey girl, I will walk you down the aisle.

After two late nights consuming alcohol I felt like I had been hit my a train. If you can’t tell by the crows feet on my face I am not in my twenties anymore. I wasn’t drunk. Then again, I am not sure I would have chosen to air guitar on the dance floor if I were sober. Another wedding guest teased my husband, “And that is why your Congressional run was unsuccessful.” He may be right. Tough. This is me.

It was a wonderful weekend spent with my dearest friends. Our crew has been together for almost ten years. We may no longer live in the same city or get to see one another as often as we’d like. Still, when we reunite it is like we spoke yesterday. My 12-year-old is at the age where he thinks he and his friends will grow old together. I thought the same thing in 7th grade. God has a way of helping us weed out people who suck. Then, Mark Zuckerberg forces them back into your life. I am blessed to have these women as friends.

No sleep till Brooklyn

My daughter woke up this morning and declared, “I got an idea.” Her ideas are usually not good ones. Well, they are for her, but not so much for me. “How about we get some chips and dip?” For breakfast? I was not going to start the day with a tantrum.

I leave tonight for a girl’s weekend in New York City. A good friend is getting hitched. In the next two days I will be able to enjoy a cocktail, eat a hot meal and have an uninterrupted conversation. I’m going to do my best to suppress the mommy guilt. I love my children more than anything, but I spend 24/7 with them. I think they would agree we need a break. In fact, yesterday they would have packed the bags for me. I lost my mind in the minivan. If that isn’t a country song it should be. My daughter had been crying for 30 minutes straight because she wanted to play chess. She isn’t Bobby Fischer. She wanted to pretend the pieces were people, but her brother and cousin were playing an actual game. I was sleep deprived, had a headache and suffering from PMS. On our way home my daughter was screaming and her two older brothers were fighting. An episode of SpongeBob was in the DVD player. This is more torture than water boarding. Then, my lovely toddler chucked a toy at my head. I started crying like Sally Field and yelled, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” so loud I actually spit on the windshield. Another mother, parked beside me at the stop light, gave a sympathetic look. I’m sure a person without children would have called social services. Silence fell over the minivan. The kids didn’t say another word until we got home.

This weekend they will get to play with Dad, eat all the junk food they want and stay up late. The wicked witch is leaving and Glenda will return on Sunday. So yes, I gave my daughter chips for breakfast. She was clearly happy. I will be in about an hour.