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The D Word

 I am officially divorced. Those four words elicit different responses. You are either treated like a leper or a temptress. Some people apologize as if they had something to do with the demise of your union. Others look at you with immense pity or won’t look you in the eye at all. Many are afraid to talk about the “D word.” There is a sense of shame associated with saying you have an ex-husband or ex-wife. I’m surprised I haven’t been brought into the town square and made to stand on a stage while everyone laughs and points. Perhaps, we should celebrate when one leaves an unhealthy or unhappy relationship. Isn’t that what we should be teaching our children; that you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness, health, or safety because of any social stigma? We need to make divorce showers a thing; complete with gifts, cake and even the cheesy games that everybody dreads. Did I mention I want gifts.

There are men who equate divorce with desperation. One gentleman said he would be willing to let me take him out for a drink, another wanted to put me in a position that may be borderline illegal and one guy even offered to lick my face. Many of these men wouldn’t normally have the confidence to be this bold, but apparently, they are doing the divorcee a favor. Plus, keyboard warriors are alive and well. Here is a fun fact: I’m not on the clearance rack because the finger on my left hand is bare. In fact, my stock is rising. I have raised my standards.

I started this blog years ago to write about the darker and funnier side of motherhood nobody talked about. From the mesh underwear you don after the birth of a child, to the hell that is Walt Disney World, to wasting money on coats your children refuse to wear. Now, I’m going to document another phase of my life. I will write again because it is my first love. The romance began in a high school English class with Mrs. Gurrant. She was a curvaceous woman with wavy dark hair that sat at the base of her neck. She had skin like a porcelain doll. She walked with such grace and spoke softly, almost to the point of a whisper, emphasizing each syllable of every word. One of her assignments was to write about something nobody knows about you. I wrote about having an eating disorder. I hadn’t found the courage to tell anyone until my pen touched that paper. It was cathartic. I stopped blogging after my self-esteem took crushing blow after blow. If you are told long enough that you’re not good enough you start to believe it. You lose yourself. Well, I have been found. Maybe something I say will inspire you. Maybe not. Either way, it does wonders for me.

 

12 Comments

  • The Psy of Life

    Howdy Deanna!

    My mother divorced in ’68. It was taboo back then. In the ’80’s it seemed like everyone was divorced and everyone I met who was much younger than me were the childe of divorce. I had no idea there was still a stigma attached to it.

    Then, again, I don’t talk much about my own divorce. I mentioned it the other day and it felt like I had said I had once been an axe-murderer, so maybe the world hasn’t changed much.

    Looking forward to more blog entries. Reading blogs is the only thing that keeps me sane.

    Huzzah!
    Jack

  • Mattesonmomma

    Congratulations! Welcome to an AMAZING CLUB! It is of peace and calm and righteousness. You have finally done something for you, and you deserve this! I am proud of you. Keep up the blog.

  • Pam Mauro

    Thank you for being brave and real. Your honesty and candor not only lift you up, but helps to give other women the hope and courage to do the same. The example of strength and perseverance you are setting for your children is immeasurable.
    And you’re damn right there needs to be a gift registry for giving birth to a stronger, better and happier version of YOU!!
    Congratulations

  • Bonnie Seaburn

    Thank you for sharing your story through this blog and your tweets. I always appreciate and admire your honesty and tenacity.

  • Michele M. Crain

    Best wishes as you embark on this new phase in your life! You have been a wonderful addition to the Wease Show ( I am a 30+ year listener) and I am sure you and your children have wonderful things ahead of you.

  • Andrea

    I’m looking forward to your musings. They mirror mine many times so it is sometimes a lovely reminder that I am not the only woman feeling or saying certain things. On top of that, you’re humorous 🙂 <3

  • Everest Springer

    Deanna, let me say first, I am old enough to be your Dad. I am a partially retired truck driver should delivers to Oswego New York and I first heard you on the Brother Wease radio show. Always liked your plucky personality. I can accept that you are not perfect but noone is. I applaud your efforts to live life on your own terms. God bless you and yours. All the very best and Happy Christmas and have a great 2022.

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