• Baby Ain’t Alive

    I’ve got an idea. Let’s invent a doll that coos and giggles. You can change its diaper and clothing. Your child can even feed it different flavors of packaged food and juice that requires mixing. Clearly, there were no women present in the “Baby Alive” board room. It is the dumbest idea I have ever seen. Well, it is a close second to Squishy Baff. Obviously the bathtub goo was created by Satan. By giving Baby Alive as a gift you are basically telling the mother, “F-you. Good luck with this mess.” I learned early on to immediately place those packets in the trash. As if taking care of three…