My son has a loose tooth. He is excited, but a little terrified at the same time. Can you blame him? The kid has grown accustomed to using all of his teeth to chew food. Now, five years later I inform him they are going to fall out. “What day will they fall out?” he wondered. As a parent I would like to have an answer for everything. If I don’t have an answer to a homework question I secretly Google it. If it can’t be answered on the internet I call my Mom. “I don’t know,” I said. “It will come out when it’s ready.”
He knows what happens each time a tooth comes out. His friend lost one this past week. The tooth fairy gave him a baseball. How the hell do you sneak that under a pillow? I’m guessing the kid woke up with a stiff neck. My son thinks the tooth fairy makes jewelry out of teeth, (I throw it away.) “The tooth fairy is small. (Thank You, I have been running.) She will tiptoe into my room (I will walk) and leave a nickel.” Hold up! A nickel? Does he think this is 1940? Thomas Jefferson can’t even get you a gumball these days. He is going to lose his shit when he finds Abraham Lincoln under his pillow. Whenever it happens.