My daughter cried today because I threw away her apple princess. I’m not kidding. She drew a face on an apple and played with it. She is really creative. She has buckets full of actual princesses created by corporations to make money. Why am I wasting my Alexander Hamilton’s on toys when I could just buy produce.
She put the apple to bed in the refrigerator and forgot about it, I mean her. “Oh, real good friend you are,” I thought to myself. You aren’t worthy of dancing in a fountain while a Rembrandts song plays. I warned the rest of the family not to ingest the Empire covered in permanent marker. I know, you would think I wouldn’t have to actually give a verbal warning. Yes, I do. Days went by and the apple started turning brown, likely from a broken heart. It had to go in the garbage. Of course, the minute I did that she remembered her best friend was sitting on a carton of eggs. I assured my daughter her apple princess didn’t go alone. The eggs expired, too. This video proves children cry over the dumbest. Enjoy!