Apple princess

My daughter cried today because I threw away her apple princess.  I’m not kidding.  She drew a face on an apple and played with it.  She is really creative.  She has buckets full of actual princesses created by corporations to make money.  Why am I wasting my Alexander Hamilton’s on toys when I could just buy produce.

She put the apple to bed in the refrigerator and forgot about it, I mean her.  “Oh, real good friend you are,” I thought to myself.  You aren’t worthy of dancing in a fountain while a Rembrandts song plays.   I warned the rest of the family not to ingest the Empire covered in permanent marker.  I know, you would think I wouldn’t have to actually give a verbal warning.  Yes, I do.  Days went by and the apple started turning brown, likely from a broken heart.  It had to go in the garbage.   Of course, the minute I did that she remembered her best friend was sitting on a carton of eggs.  I assured my daughter her apple princess didn’t go alone.  The eggs expired, too.   This video proves children cry over the dumbest.  Enjoy!