Back off Chester!

It seems every time I go to the grocery store we are surrounded by silver haired paparazzi. Older ladies love my daughter. She has big blue eyes and chunky cheeks. Yes, I would admit if she was ugly. I actually hope she isn’t peaking too soon.

I am thinking of making her wear a sign that says “Don’t Touch.” Today a creepy looking man wearing tube socks was gawking at her. In my book you are a child molester until proven innocent. I don’t trust anyone. He spoke to directly to her, “Well, aren’t you cute. What’s your name?” Then, he reached out to try and touch her hair. I jumped in front of her like I was intercepting a football. What the hell! I don’t know if he just used that hand to play with his willy or wipe his ass. Besides, you are a stranger sir! Stranger Danger was created because of guys like you. So back off Chester!

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