Delivery Diss

I am trying to raise my kids to tip well. It may not seem like a life skill to many people. I think it’s important. I’ve broken up with guys because they were cheap. (That and he picked me up in a Monte Carlo. Oh, Hell no! ) I can honestly say I’ve been pretty generous most of my life. I appreciate people who work hard. Well, except in high school when we left the lady at Pizza Hut a few dimes. If I ran into her today I would probably give her a hug and a twenty. I was a waitress for, oh, too fucking long. It didn’t help that I worked at the local senior citizen hot spot. If I never see a glass of prune juice again it will be too soon. In the beginning I enjoyed interacting with customers. I got a little bitter after years of people bitching because the cook (who was probably still high from the night before) screwed up their meal. I knew I had to hang up my apron when I thought about throwing quarters at a silver haired lady. (I worked my ass off for that cow. She left me 75 cents.) Tonight I ordered pizza and wings. (Does it mean you order out too much when your daughter points to the oven and says “what’s that?” True. Story.) The delivery woman who clearly made some poor life decisions walked toward the door with a sour look on her face. I asked what the total was and gave her an additional $4 tip. That is on top of the $2 fee they already charge. She grabbed the money and walked away. Um? Thank You? Not a word. I don’t want you to kiss my feet. I know that six bucks won’t change your life. Nor will it pay for the his & her Kermit the Frog tattoos you’ve had your eye on. However, I would appreciate you acknowledging my generosity with a simple “Thanks.” For crying out loud my 5-year-old returned from a play-date at his cousin’s house and the first thing he told me was “I said please and thank you!” I will continue to encourage my kids to use their manners. I will teach them to be generous because it feels good. I will never get delivery from that pizza shop again.

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