I am going to start labeling everyone’s drink to eliminate any confusion. Obviously I don’t slurp out of the sippy cups, but my 12-year-old enjoys similar beverages. Unfortunately, he also leaves crumbs in the container like he is storing food for the winter. Well, tonight after a long day at work I came home to find an ice-cold bottle of Gatorade in the refrigerator. In a complete exhausted stupor I grabbed the bottle and took a swig like I was in college drinking from a funnel. I mean, not me mom, like those drunken sluts did. (eh-hem) I always had water. Well. I felt a chunk of something slide down my throat. I looked in the container and there were a dozen or so floaters. I won’t tell you how this story ends.

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