Fly trap

The next time a child tells you a dog ate their homework believe them. I have proof ridiculous things do happen. My 5-year-old was late to school on Monday because of a fly. No, it wasn’t a gigantic insect seen in Godzilla movies. It was your average house fly. In fact, it was sluggish, having survived the winter in my house. I was about to load the kids in the van, but realized my keys were in my bedroom. With the kids standing in the kitchen, I ran upstairs. First time Moms are whispering, “She left them alone!” Honey, I am not a Duggar. Not only does Michelle have a super strength uterus, she brings 19 kids everywhere. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I was upstairs for 30 seconds when I heard blood curdling screams. I nearly tripped down the stairs. “I need you Mommy,” my daughter hollered. Was their an intruder? Did they get hurt? No. They saw a fly. My 3-year-old clung to my leg begging me to find it. My 5-year-old was yelling at her to calm down. I was sweating. It took 10 minutes to get the situation under control. At the school I was asked to fill out a slip explaining why we were late. Do I write that we were late because my children lost their mind over a bug smaller than a dime? My son was late for school because my kids are sheltered? I decided to go with “My son was late to school because we slept in.” I would rather look lazy than insane. What the school doesn’t know won’t hurt them.

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