Go the F*** to sleep
Please help me understand how my child’s inner alarm clock works. During the week I have to drag Dr. Jekyll out of bed. Then, when the weekend rolls around Mr. Hyde comes scampering into my bedroom cheerfully declaring, “Good Morning Mommy!” This morning my wake-up call was at 6:30 a.m. This is a far cry from my ordeal yesterday with a child who refused to go to school. My 4-year-old is hanging on to the terrible twos like Joan Rivers is hanging on to her youth. Have you seen her face lately? I don’t think she has any skin left to stretch. After demanding, pleading and a little bribery I finally got my son out of bed, dressed and in the garage. Then, as he climbed in the car he spotted a quarter on the seat. He started scrounging for coins in the cushions as if he was jonesing for a cigarette and needed money to buy a pack. We arrived at school 20 minutes late. This morning I played with Batman toys, had a tea party and finished breakfast by 8:00 a.m. I know, there will come a day when I long to be awakened by tiny hands tapping on my shoulder and soft voices whispering in my ear. However, today I am SO bloody tired.