I like The Golden Globes. I loved The Golden Globes with Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler hosting. They say what everyone else is thinking. I have been known to do that from time to time.
The cherry on top was a bit featuring Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig. Everybody seemed to enjoy it except Tommy Lee Jones. He was not laughing. In fact, I think he wanted to punch them both in the face. Settle down. It was a joke. Besides, isn’t he at the age where we should be calling him Tom. Tommy is a 3-year-old who has temper tantrums. Well, maybe Tommy works for him after all.
Jodie Foster brought the crowd to tears with her speech. Was she drunk or reading it backwards? I have no idea what the hell she was talking about.
I think she was trying to tell us she is a lesbian. Dear Captain Obvious, ……. She also had a beautiful message directed to her Mom, who I assume is suffering from Alzheimer’s. The rest was one big inside joke that only Mel Gibson could understand. Who let him in anyway?
Kevin Costner gets the award for most depressing speech of the night. What was his deal? Is he dying or still mourning Whitney? He needs to up his daily dose of Zoloft. Thank Goodness Adele won an award to change the mood. Piss + British accent = award show gold
Here are a few other observations:
* Jennifer Lopez wore another sheer dress. In her world no other fabric exists. We get it Jlo, you are hot. You have twins, but managed to lose the kangaroo pouch. I still have mine and a place to carry my keys. Now, if only JLo could lose that unattractive boy toy.
* Quentin Tarantino is still one crazy mother f-er.
* Taylor Swift snuck into the party. Can she stop playing the victim and write a song about being a whore?
*The girl from HBO’s “The Girls” either cannot walk in high heels or she needed to poop. She was shuffling on the floor like it was an ice rink.
* Nobody cares about the award for best score. So, in the future let’s donate their trophy to charity.
My soon to be 13-year-old loves these award shows. He has always been fascinated by how movies are made. He is brilliant and creative. There is no doubt in my mind he will grace that stage one day. He better take his old mum as his date.