Spring Forward!

Newscasters remind us with such enthusiasm to turn the clocks ahead. I won’t gain or lose an hour of sleep because of what the clock reads. I don’t get enough rest because I have children. In fact my daughter woke up at 3 a.m. today ready to take on the world. I tried to be stern, but when I told her to go back to bed she screamed like Howard Dean. I did not want her to wake up the other kids. So, I turned on an episode of Blue’s Clues. Steve should have ridden that gravy train a little longer. It’s tough to make the leap to serious actor or rock star when your resume includes playing with talking salt & pepper shakers.

I was not in a good mood today. It probably wasn’t the best idea to go to the grocery store. It definitely wasn’t smart to recycle the bags of soda cans piled in my garage. If you’ve never completed this task it’s like stepping into a trash can in Central Park. The automated machines are caked with sludge and smell like ass sweat. Each time I put a can into the slot a mist of week old soda sprayed across my face. Then, a 300 pound man gave me attitude because I was “hogging” the plastic machine. I started to have a hot flash. I didn’t need the aggravation for a $9.50 refund. If he wasn’t covered in cat hair I would have tackled him. At least when I wake up tomorrow it was be pitch black outside.

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