Surprise who?

I am not usually bothered by advertisements, but this one annoyed the hell out of me.

Surprise him with a new body? Hahahahahahaha. Good one, skinny girl. I will do that the day he surprises me by putting his dirty clothes somewhere other than the floor. How about he surprises me by emptying the dishwasher? Did Doc take us in his Delorean back to the early 1900’s? Who the hell starts a workout regime to impress a man? I don’t workout to impress him. I torture myself with Burpees so my jeans don’t cut off my circulation. I don’t wan’t people approaching me to order muffins. I run for the burst of natural endorphins after listening to children argue over Minecraft all day long. This will totally shock you, but I actually exercise to be healthy. I want to live long enough to see what whore woman my son abandons me for marries. I exercise for me. I can actually listen to music I enjoy instead of songs by Barbie. Do you want to go insane? Play a CD in a car with children. They will want to hear the same song over and over and over again. “Song 2, Song 2, Song 2. Again, again, again!” How many times can you listen to track 2 of Barbie, the Prince and the Pauper without losing your mind? The answer is zero. Actually, Barbie may be this company’ target audience.