There are days when I feel like I am on The Truman Show. Is the world watching to see how I will react in certain situations? Take for example a routine visit to the dentist. My older son had an appointment this afternoon to get a cavity filled. Before you pass judgement, it’s a small cavity likely related to orthodontic headgear. We don’t binge on candy and brush our teeth with well water. He had to wear this contraption for a year. It wasn’t like the nerd in “Sixteen Candles.” My son only looked like a geek at night while he slept. It was worth it. His teeth already look amazing.
I decided it was time to cut the cord and sit in the waiting room. He is almost 13-years-old. This is the first time I have not hovered over a doctor during an appointment. To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, “Big Mistake. Huge!” (Who can’t relate to a hooker who finds Prince Charming?)
It was supposed to be a quick, simple procedure. After reading old magazines for 45 minutes (Did you know Patrick Swayze died?) I decided to investigate the delay. I strolled into the exam room. My son was lying in the chair, watching the TV positioned at his feet. It wasn’t tuned to Nickelodeon or The Disney Channel. He was watching “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” on FX. I am not going to pretend my kid only watches G movies, but this was horrifying. I walked in at the moment Adam Sandler’s character was having sex with his friend’s mother. All the nitrous oxide in the world couldn’t make that okay. We will be looking for a new office. Hopefully, (fingers crossed) the dental hygienist doesn’t allow my kid to watch porn.