What I don’t do for my kids

I nearly died getting my daughter a doll house.   I believe that anytime you buy something on Craig’s List you are risking life and limb.  The seller could be a wacko who eats fingernail clippings or human flesh.  I had to ignore the risk.  I was on a mission to get my 2-year-old daughter the doll house in my son’s preschool classroom.  She loves this damn thing.  It has three floors,  two terraces and enough space for two plastic families to live.   It’s circa 2002 and clearly not available in stores.  A few days ago I saw a listing for the exact house with furniture and dolls for 60 bucks.  I got the seller down to $50.    I’m sure the rich and famous would turn up their nose at the idea of buying something on Craig’s List,  (Well, something other than an escort.)  but this was a hell of a deal.   Before I went to pick it up I called my mother,  “If I go missing send the police to this address.   I may be buried in cement in the basement. ”  The closer I got to the house the more my heart raced.  (I know you’re supposed to meet in a public spot.  The seller refused.  Red flag?)  What if there really wasn’t a doll house and a guy just wanted to kidnap me to be his sex slave?  Psycho’s usually target middle-aged mothers with C-section scars, right?   I thought about turning around.  I couldn’t.  My daughter was going to be so happy.  Plus, worse comes to worse my story would definitely make Headline News.   “A tot mom dies trying to buy her baby a toy?”   It turned out to be a nice neighborhood and the doll house is in mint condition.  I survived.  Sorry, Nancy Grace.

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