Would you care to donate?

I am not a bad person.  I said that to myself over and over as I pushed a shopping cart out of the grocery store yesterday.  I wanted to buy bread, instead I was criticized by a judgmental cashier.  

This is the third time in a week that I have been asked to donate money at the checkout.   I applaud companies that partner with charities to raise money.  I hate having to defend myself for not wanting to pay $1, $2 or $3 to sign a piece of paper that will be taped to the supermarket wall.  I am starved for attention, but ‘making it’ does not mean seeing my name on a high-top above the soda display or near the lottery tickets.  But that is not why I said no.  I don’t like being that person, but I cannot give money away every time I am at the store.   I have a teenage son which is the equivalent of having a tapeworm.  So, until I convert an entire bedroom into a refrigerator I have to make several trips to the store every week.    Then, I have to go back because I forgot items on my list.  Actually, I usually forget that I made a list. 

On this occasion the cashier asked loudly if I would like to donate money to raise awareness for a particular disease.  My face got hot.  I felt like everyone in the room was staring at me, waiting to hear my answer.   “No thank you,” I said politely.  I donated twice this week and last week and the week before that.  Every time you turn around a cashier is putting you on the spot.  I understand it’s not their fault.  They were likely ordered by management to push the fundraiser.  Since I foolishly decided to have morals instead of releasing a sex tape, I am not a millionaire.  I cannot afford to ‘make it rain’ in aisle five. I give my fair share.  I am not heartless or selfish, damn it. The cashier didn’t seem to think so.  She lowered her head and looked up over the rim of her glasses as if to say ‘Shame on you.’  

To make matters worse, I walked out the door and was pooped on by a bird.   

I am going to start a GoFundMe account to pay the dry cleaning bill or maybe I can partner with a grocery store to raise the money.