I want to punch Al Gore in the face. Yeah, I said it. It’s not because of his political beliefs. Let’s face it the vice-president does as much for the country as the cashier at Wendy’s. My beef (get it) with Al is his tirade on Global Warming. He is making my life very difficult.

Look, I am all about saving the earth for our children. I applaud efforts to recycle cans & newspapers, use less plastic and buy rechargeable batteries. However, I am pissed that you messed with my washing machine. This “Energy Efficient” machine uses about a teaspoon of water to wash an entire load of laundry. On any given day I have a basket of pants with grass stains, dresses covered in juice and shirts with rancid body odor. Of course you are saving energy because my shit is still dirty. The machine isn’t capable of washing Barbie’s clothes. (When did Barbie start dressing like a hooker?) After the spin cycle I have to spend a half hour untangling shirts and jeans. It is more difficult than mastering a Rubik’s Cube.

Good ole’ Al and the rest of Hollywood use more electricity each time they go under the knife. Meg Ryan’s face is definitely not doing the earth any favors; on SO many levels. If Angelina Jolie could take a bus instead of flying on a private jet my clothes would be clean. (Disclaimer: my views will change completely when I am a millionaire.)