4 a.m. manicure

Here is another thing they don’t warn you about in the “What to Expect” series: you will have to give your toddler a manicure at 4 in the morning. Some of you are saying to yourself, “Oh she must be one of those moms!” Nope. I am the mom that can’t say no. I mean, I would put my foot down if my kid wanted to do crack. Crack is wack! I wouldn’t allow a child to quit school or join a boy band. However, when painting my toes, if my 2-year-old begs, “make mine pretty!” I’m sure as hell going to slap a light coat on her piggy toes. Kind of like when you give a bear honey cakes she always want more. So, I usually end up painting her fingernails as well. Go ahead call the authorities. It’s no worse than dressing your daughter like a hooker and calling it a “dance recital.” Anyway, fast forward to this morning. My daughter and 5-year-old son have some sort of virus. It’s a high fever, with an occasional loose bowel movement and if you’re lucky vomiting that comes on so quickly it’s impossible to catch. Awesome! Around the time most TV stations are running infomercials my little princess informed me that she “farted.” I know, classy. Fearing another episode of ‘poop in a pull up’ I raced her to the toilet. After telling me a story about a teacher named “Four, Five , Six” (Yep, that was the best name she could come up with) she noticed the paint on her tiny fingers was chipping off. “Fix it Mommy!” I’m not opening up a salon when I should be sleeping. “Please Mommy.” Sigh. So, there before the sun came up I gave my toddler a manicure. Then, I wiped her butt and carried her back to sleep. She rested her head on my shoulder, raised her tiny hand in the air and said, “Doesn’t it look pretty Mommy.” It did. Perhaps, the moments you won’t find in a book and don’t expect are the best kind.