Baby Shower

I am attending a baby shower for a dear friend today. I knew from the moment I received the invitation what gift I would buy. I got a steam cleaner. I know it won’t get the Ooo’s and Ahhh’s when she unwraps it. However, they will thank me every time the baby vomits on the carpet.

Opening gifts in front of a crowd of people is awkward. By the fourth present you are totally faking the enthusiasm. In my mind I’m thinking You will never use that. Return. Return. That outfit is gaudy. Return.

There is always that person who buys clothes on clearance and says, “I figured the baby could wear it next year.” Sure, if I want the baby to have a heat stroke. The size sweater you got for $2 will fit him when it is 90 degrees outside. Now, the baby won’t fit into the outfit I bought for very long, but it is damn cute. I don’t even remember my children being this little. I got baby fever for a second while wrapping the tiny booties. Then, my three blessings started fighting. I’m good.