I received an email from Google Plus suggesting I link up with certain people. I am behind the times when it comes to these social media trends. I just got a MySpace account. So, I Googled Google Plus. It turns out it’s another social networking site. While Facebook suggests I may want to be friends with girls I hated in high school, Google Plus suggests I may know this guy:
Please allow me to take a moment. (Laughter) I am a 38-year-old mother of three who lives in the suburbs. I can assure you I do not know a single man who looks this. I don’t live on Wisteria Lane. My only male acquaintances are fathers with doughy bodies. Well, except for my gay besties, but they don’t count. Look, I am no Kate Upton. Although anyone’s boobs look great when you squish them against your chest like Kate did on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I could go to Glamour Shots and prove it. Now, let those suckers hang free and Kate is on the cover of Ladies Home Journal. I’m just sayin’….. As far as I am concerned a body like this only exists on the cover of a Jackie Collins novel.