It’s official. I need a dictionary to understand my son’s text messages. He isn’t speaking in Spanish. Foreign language is new to the curriculum in 6th grade. So, he can count to 10 in Spanish. (As can every toddler that watches Sesame Street) I actually took 5 years of French and can only tell you my house is brown. (And it’s not.) This generation has its own language.

Basically, I occasionally scroll through his phone to make sure he is behaving. He knows it’s always a possibility. I like to keep him on his toes. I have a good friend who busted her teenage son sending vulgar texts to a lady friend. As punishment he had to stand in front of both parents and read each one out loud. He was crying by the time it was over. Pure genius! She is an incredible mother. I would have probably used similar obscenities and locked him in his room. It wouldn’t have had the same effect. Or affect? Damn English language creator guy!

Anyway, I discovered a text that ended with YOLO. My face got hot. I had no idea what it stood for, but it had to be naughty. I brainstormed for 15 minutes and came up with: “Your Old Lady Odor” I know that doesn’t make any sense, but those are the words that popped into my head.

When I was young we actually used a pencil and paper to write notes. No, this wasn’t B.C. We would scribble cute abbreviations by connecting letters like TLA. True Love Always. We also created witty math problems. 2 good + 2 be = 4 gotten. Get it? Yeah me neither. Adding good and be doesn’t equate to gotten. My point is that we didn’t speak in code ATT (all the time). LMFAO!

Since my friends are equally as uncool I had to google YOLO. It means “You Only Live Once.” Wow. That is pretty deep for a bunch of tweens with peach fuzz and acne. GFF (Go F-ing Figure) I did come across a great website for future text mysteries. InternetSlang.com Kids these days have me FOCL!

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