Like?

Facebook is being sued over a few features on the website including the “Like” button. The widow of a Dutch programmer claims it used two of her husband’s patents without permission. Let’s face it. Some people abuse their Like power on Facebook. Others just don’t quite understand how this feature works.

If Susan writes:

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You do not click Like. Are you happy Susan may have to eat government cheese? Do you want Susan’s house to go into foreclosure? Of course not. Well, unless Susan bullied you in high school.

Another example is:

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Did you have that guy’s Grandma on your office death pool. Why would you like something so morbid?

There are tricky status updates. What if Billy writes:

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Now, you do not Like that Billy is knee deep in vomit, but you want him to stay healthy. It is not so much out of concern for Billy, but you don’t want his family to get yours sick. I say hold off on the Like button and write an encouraging message below his status. Perhaps encourage them all to stay home.

You also need to be careful when a “friend” mentions a relationship:

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Are you happy her heart was broken and she is a few trips to the pet store away from being called a “Cat Lady?”
What if the couple reunites and you not only Liked this status, but commented on what a scumbag he was. Awkward. Nothing is official until the relationship status goes from “it’s complicated” to “single.” (Everybody knows that.)

Of course, it is always okay to Like random pictures of food and beverages. What is not to like about a half eaten omelette and toast crumbs?
Now, if you poke me, for any reason, I will get a restraining order.

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